Have you ever considered that you may be hiding your pain so well that others don’t realize you’re hurting? Have you ever considered that some of those closest to you don’t realize the extent of your hurt.
One of the problems of being able to put on a good face is that it keeps others from seeing how hurt you are. Although you may have confronted your own denial, they may be in denial about the affair and it’s pain as well.
If you aren’t hurting too bad, they assume that you’re handling things well. Putting on your big girl pants is a good thing, yet those around may assume that means you are past the hurt.
In some cases, when you don’t talk about your hurt, you may also not realize the extent of your own hurt.
Whether it’s families, close associates or yourself, others may not see your hurt. This becomes an obstacle to gaining empathy. It’s also makes forgiveness more difficult.
When others see the affair as ‘no big deal’, they don’t see your pain. The validation of your emotional pain is a key part of forgiveness.
There’s many reasons for them not seeing your pain. When you don’t take your healing serious, they aren’t going to take it serious either.
If you thought forgiveness was just about ‘letting go’, you’re missing out. Incomplete forgiveness amounts to failed forgiveness.
Wrong ideas about forgiveness form obstacles to affair recovery. When you stumble and fall in your recovery, it may be telling you that there are some gaps in your understanding of forgiveness.
If you need some additional help in understanding forgiveness, including the validating of your pain, the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and remove the Obstacles” will guide you through this area.
Best Regards,
Jeff
