Martha came into my office with a series of questions directed to me about misogyny. From the time she came through the door, I felt like I was on trial.
She was scared. Given what she’d been through, it made sense.
Like a prosecuting attorney, she asked me her series of questions. Before I fully answered one, she already had another one. Her face was stern, and at times displaying anger.
She viewed her husband as a misogynist and before she started therapy with me she wanted to ask me about the subject, even though she seemed to already have her mind made up. She needed reassurance I was not the misogynist he was.
She not only had questions, she also gave me reading recommendations on the subject of misogyny. I understood her wanting to feel safe with me before opening up.
She’d already been vulnerable to her husband, whom she viewed as a misogynist. She reminded him of all she’d done for him and his lack of appreciation for it. Her hurts soured into resentments.
Martha had legitimate concerns. Her husband had withdrawn from their marriage.
Her husband was displeased with many things. He wasn’t sure how to express his displeasure along with concerns about their marriage.
Their marriage was at an impasse. Communication was choked to the point of being non-existent.
She insisted that he was a ‘hater’ and shut down any attempt he made at discussing his displeasure with their relationship.
The intense anger and frustration left me wondering how their marriage reached such a place. When communication breaks down, accusations are soon to follow.
Each of them hurts and desperately wants the connection they once had. Without communication, they are left in alone in their pain. Their situation left them vulnerable to affairs.
Moving out of the impasse they were in required each of them to make changes in how they dealt with each other. They had to change the way they talked, the way they treated each other and how they played with each other.
Their journey started with changing how they talked with each other. They worked at finding better ways of listening, expressing themselves and tuning into each other.
Their relationship improved as they tuned into each other. Even their sex life improved as a result of better communication.
You and your marriage can benefit from some of the same techniques I shared with them in the video “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions”.
You’ll learn ways of tearing down walls and opening things up that you may have thought were impossible. Instead of continuing to suffer in lonely silence, you can click, download and put these powerful techniques into practice today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
