When you are sorting through the events of an affair and how to put your relationships back in order, exaggeration is your enemy. Although you may exaggerate things in order to get your point across, it may be making the arguments worse than they need to be. If the cheater has come home late two times, it does not mean that they are ‘always’ coming home late. Using exaggerations in such a manner only makes things worse. It was likely the cheaters exaggeration that fueled their rationalizing of the affair, by telling themselves how you are ‘never’ there for them, or how you are always ‘negative’ or something else. It is common for them to take an accurate observation and then blow it out of proportion with exaggeration. You do not like it done to you, nor does the cheater like it when you use it on them.
You communication will be much clearer and you will solve more problems if you are accurate and honest in your communication. Using words like ‘always’, ‘never’, and ‘forever’ are a good indication that you or the cheater are exaggerating.
You can deal with the fact, but no one can deal with the exaggerations.
If you found this helpful, you may want to consider my webinar on dealing with overcoming an affair.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
