A phrase I often hear from distraught spouses after finding out about the affair is “How could I have missed all those signs?” There are often tell-tale signs that trouble is brewing, yet you may be dismissing or ignoring those flashing red lights that are warning you of trouble.
One of the big ones is when your spouse pushes you away. They may not be physically pushing you away, yet you feel the push from the things they say and do. It may be names they have been calling you, or the distance they are putting between you and them, or snide little comments they make. They may be shutting you out. If any of these signs are present, you may need to notice it and take action while you still can.
Although some affairs happen on the spur of the moment, the vast majority do not. They grow over time. As part of the growth, the cheater often pushes you away in order to make room emotionally for another lover. Although they talk about loving two at once and may claim that it is possible, the reality is they can’t throw themselves wholly into two relationships at the same time (unless they are schizophrenic or bipolar).
Rather than ignore the signs, open your eyes…take notice..take action.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
