Have you considered the question as to whether the cheater deserves a second chance? Perhaps I should re-word it to “Are you willing to give the cheater a second chance?” You may be one of those people who only give others one chance. If you are, that sets a VERY high standard. There may be some who can attain it, but you may be limiting yourself. A cheater whose heart is in the marriage is much better than someone who is only there physically, but whose heart is in their job, the kids, their career or somewhere else.
If you are a one-time only person, are you consistent in that approach with yourself and with your children? Perfection is nice, yet many of us do not attain it on our first effort. Even the best athletes do not hit home runs every time at bat or sink baskets with every shot. Yet you expect others to do it right the first time. Have you considered that your expectations would be hard for anyone to live with?
I find a more realistic approach is giving others a second chance, including cheaters. It may take you out of your comfort zone, yet you are dealing with humans. Humans often disappoint. They have great potential, yet often let you down. They are less than perfect. They often have horrid habits, yet they are too cute to say no to. They are worth a second chance. Many of them are fast learners and can be taught how to improve.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
