An email arrived the other day concerning dealing with a long term affair. What makes this situation challenging is that the wife shared that they’d been married 50 years.
Affairs aren’t limited to the young. Even those with long marriages are vulnerable to the damage of an affair. Her email gives you an idea what happens.
“He says he loves me. He continues showing me he loves me as well. He often says he’s trying to make up for his affair.
I struggle him not telling me the truth about the affair and how long it went on. It’s like he wants to sweep it under rug and wants me just to “get over it“.
I’m angry.
He goes on his merry way and had his fun affair. Now he decides he wants me. I wonder if that’s his way of avoiding splitting everything. I don’t know.
Trust is broken still. Should I try to forget his not giving me truth about the length of his affair?
He has lied for 4 1/2 years now. He gives me different answers time and again. I see his trying to love and be good to me but I’m bothered he’s manipulating me and getting away with betraying me, not being truthful or accountable.”
Her email makes it clear that she’s angry and hurting. Although he’s admitted to his infidelity, how it’s been handled has only stretched the pain out over a period of years.
It’s a pain that he keeps going over the years. His dragging it out contributed to the wounds festering.
His wanting to ‘sweep it under the rug’ ends up sending the message that his wife’s opinion doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is his emotional well-being.
His actions actually end up fueling more of his wife’s doubts about his sincerity about staying married. They could’ve benefitted from the video “How Can I Trust Him Again?”
The situation is one where each spouse doubts the other. They live with doubts about each other’s sincerity. The rift between them is turning into a chasm.
His delaying in telling her the truth is keeping the hurt alive. He says he wants to sweep it under the rug, yet his choices are making that impossible.
If anything his choices are keeping the wounds festering and fresh. He keeps the hurt alive and painful.
Rather than let bad choices create a chasm between you and your spouse, click and download the trust video today. In it, you’ll find ways of repairing the damage rather than letting what happened push the two of you further apart.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
