Overcoming the mental pictures in your mind is one of the many challenges associated with affairs. Each time you review and rehearse those images, it creates stronger pathways in your mind. The more you rehearse what happened, the stronger the image becomes, along with becoming more vivid. These images can become so vivid, they act like an instant replay of the pain-inducing affair that loops in your mind and heart.
In dealing with these images, the best thing to do is to NOT seek details. The more details you have about the affair, the more vivid the image and the more trouble you will have getting over them.
You sill need to distract your mind rather than allow the images to replay themselves. The more they replay, the more power they will have over you. When they become too vivid, you may find yourself emotionally aroused, be it with anger, lust or curiosity. Being aroused at those images will make you vulnerable to emotional manipulation. This is one reason that those who replay them find themselves on an emotional roller coaster.
Fantasies are one of the issues that were behind the affair in the first place. Rehearsing what you think happened will have you fantasizing about the affair as well. The fantasies will need to stop in order to deal with what is really going on. The fantasies often turn the affair into something it does not need to be along with making it harder to see the real problem.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
