Although it is unpleasant to consider, some of you may be in a marriage that has more in common with slavery and ownership than it does with love and respect. It is one thing if hardship dictates that the family has only one car, it is quite another matter, when one spouse intentionally keeps the other one at home against their will. Some spouses have been known to even lock the home, preventing you from leaving.
Those who engage in such tactics may claim that they are insecure, or that it is a ‘cultural thing’, or that is the way that their parents did things. Regardless of the excuse, the dynamics are those of slavery. You are treated as a piece of property, to be used rather than respected.
Some spouses may not literally keep you locked up, yet they may surround you with lies, allowances and limit the mount of information you have access too. That is not trust, by any stretch of the imagination. When you question the controller, they may say, “You Don’t Trust Me!” There is a good reason you don’t trust them. They are not showing themselves trustworthy. In such cases, you are living in a fantasy prison, where what you are told is often very different that what is actually going on.
If you are in one of those prisons, you need to wake up to what is going on rather than buying into the fantasy.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
I am not a slave but I was devoted to the happiness of my husband and he took advantage big time.
I posted under your ‘flirting ‘ entry but here I must add a comment…..When a man perpetually lives a dual life and lies to his wife …it puts one in a false reality …the life I had while my husband had his adulterous arrangement …[ I REFUSE to call it an ‘affair’ …because that sounds like a social event!] That life he presented was an altered reality …it was a LIE and it was also a life that my children have to now realize was a lie
It is almost too much to comprehend the impact of a life lived in such a state.
We all have to learn how to grasp what our lives REALLY were and that is most difficult since my husband was such a good actor!
What he presented to us was such a great , “caring ‘, charming personage ….and sincere as he DID think of things to do or give that gave the impression that he really did feel that he was missing out on our lives but ‘JUST COULD NOT BE AROUND ‘ since work was from 4 am …til 8 or 9 at night….sometimes business dinners later than that and frequent business trips.. HIS business and field were VERY demanding …what did I know? I did not know any of his co workers well ..maybe saw them once or twice a year at some function and when I did I built him up …EVERYONE loved him …
WHY NOT …he was ‘faithful” TO HIS WORK!
Oh well …prisons are not always what we think they are .
I got some NEW ‘news ‘ this past weekend you will read on the ‘flirt’ post if you care to .
Crushed again …it seems to keep on ….as truth dribbles out …sigh.
Zaza,
You are fortunate in that you were not a slave. Many wives and husbands are caught like a prisoner in their situation with no chance of escape and little if any hope. I view this slavery as a natural extension of the cheater leaving off their natural affections. It starts with the affair and only worsens over time, to where their natural affections become totally corrupted. To them people become objects that are controlled and used.