You may hear your spouse tell you that are innocent, that they are a victim! Although most of the time that such phrases are used, they are thrown out as excuses for what the cheater did. Although in a majority of cases, they are excuses, there are some situations where they are the victim. In the con-game world, a target person is often set up for accusations of cheating. In the con-game, the set up cheater is often lured into a compromising situation, then the trap is sprung. When the trap is sprung the secret of their cheating is often used against them in a blackmail manner.
There are also men and women who are drugged in their drinks and are victims of unscrupulous persons who exploit their situation. Although you may not want to consider this option, such things do still happen. There are ‘evil’ people who stoop to such ploys.
Besides the con-game folks, another type of person that looks for victims is the ‘litigant-crazed person’. These type look for lawsuits. They often have a history of initiating lawsuits. They truly are looking for victims that they can take to court on frivolous claims that will reward them with money.
One way to make sure a behavior continue is to reward it. In the case of litigant crazed persons, with the courts giving them rewards, they want more of that money from the courts. With that in mind, they look for opportunities for law suits. Their first response to most crises is “I’ll sue!”. These types are out there and on the prowl for innocent victims. These types often make claims of sexual attacks and affairs when none have occurred.
Your spouse may truly be a victim of one of these unscrupulous types. The test is to ask the question “Qui Bono?” (Who benefits). If your spouse does not benefit from the accusation of cheating, and someone else stand to gain monetarily from the accusation, you will want to consider that there is a set up.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
PS-I will be hosting a webinar on Steps to Regaining Control After an Affair on Wednesday, August 25th at 7:00pm CDT. You can register here for that webinar. Link.
