It amazes me how quickly time passes. Over ten years ago, one of the most popular pages I had on the social media site, Hubpages asked the question, “Does Age Matter In Relationships?” The page received a large amount of traffic and some very impassioned and at times heated debate in the comments section. (If you want a copy of the original article, send me an email).
I still firmly believe that having similarities in age matters in marriage relationships. Having similarities in age gives the two of you more in common. These days you need as many factors in your favor for your marriage as possible. Although many obstacles can be overcome, when it comes to large age differences, the obstacles are large and real. You may have some other thoughts on the matter, so please bear with me. The pace of social change these days mean that the differences in generations is greater.
One place where age is a huge obstacle is when there is a huge age difference between the cheater and the lover. The greater the age difference, the bigger the issues involved. Affairs are bad enough. Those with big age differences spell trouble with an ever large capital “T”.
I have noticed that the age difference between the cheater and love interest has played a role in many of my cases.
When the age difference is 12 years or more, lines are being blurred and crossed. When that difference is greater than 20 years, lines aren’t being blurred, they’re being ignored. At that point, the red flags go up along with flares, flashing warning lights, and bottle rockets loudly proclaiming “Danger Will Robinson! Danger!”
Many cheaters ignore the “Danger!” warnings and head full throttle into bad situations and deep holes. Just look at how many teachers are caught sleeping with young students and find themselves in jail, leaving their spouses stunned and children without a parent at home anymore.
The courts aren’t helping matters. Take for instance a Montana court that sentenced a predatory teacher to only 30 days after raping a minor.
Even though PoMo (Post–Modern) culture has turned such situations into entertainment with films like Lolita, and Poison Ivy or promoting the idea of Cougars, the problem remains. Turning a problem into entertainment doesn’t make it go away. If anything, it gives such relationships a tacit approval. It gives the problem fertilizer material to grow larger.
These kind of situations can be dealt with, yet requires you and your spouse to work together in dealing with them. The complications require more than one person in dealing with them and recovering from them. You’ve got the affair problem along with the unhealthy age dynamic. Age differences do make a difference in relationships.
If you need help in finding ways of working with your spouse in tackling problems like these, you’ll want the newest video, “How To Rekindle Closeness And Bring Back Intimacy In Your Marriage“. When the two of you start working together, the obstacles become smaller.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
