There are times that you find yourself re-experiencing fears and sensations that you do not want to. Images pop into your head that you had not been thinking about. The affair is over and you wonder, “Where is this coming from?”
You are likely experiencing anniversary reactions.
Your body remembers many things, even when your mind doesn’t clearly recall dates that things happened.
It remembers both positive and negative sensations. It remembers without evaluation. Your body brings it up and your mind faces choices in dealing with the sensations.
Your body is reminding you of what happened. It is a way to remember and protect yourself. You’re not loosing your mind, this is a natural phenomena.
Your spouse may wonder how you knew things or where it is coming from. They may think that they hid things from you for a while, which they may have.
They may have told you that it was to ‘protect you’. (That is still a wild claim. Protecting you, while hurting you).
The bottom line is that your body remembers. It reacts with increased sensitivity. Rather than fight the heightened sensitivity, try to work with it.
Learn what it’s trying to teach you. Use your sensitivity to re-connect rather than for being easily triggered.
For specialized help in dealing with these phenomena, check out my video on “Overcoming Affair Relapse“. The video goes into anniversary reactions along with high risk situations and affair triggers. Knowing what these are and ways of dealing with them will keep them from being destructive to your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
