Although it may seem to be an odd question, one that you need to consider when dealing with an affair is “Why is your marriage important?” The cheater will likely ask you that question and you need to have an honest answer. In order to address the question, you may have to do some soul searching in terms of coming up with an answer. Your answer may be based on personal conviction, preferences, or traditions. Whatever the basis of your answer, it will need to be honest. Your spouse will want what you honestly believe. If your answer is based on what someone told you, or what you should think, it will no go well. Your answer will also be part of the foundation of your marriage. Do you want that based on the opinion of others or on honesty between you and your spouse. With an honest answer, you have a place to start building a foundation.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
One Response
This is a great question and hopefully one would have answered it BEFORE they said ‘ I DO” to the vows….I feel this way because if one does not see honesty and a REASON for marriage then there does not seem to be any purpose to even bother.. Probably one of the great fall outs of the several generations of children who have lived with divorce as the easy out of the parents who failed to consider marriage as something that offers a framework of life long development of character and relationships with not any …as superficial as those can be …..but ONE individual who one sees as of great value to their life long journey.
The value is not just for ‘free sex any time’ or someone to share the burden of bills as some marriages degenerate to ….thus making vulnerabilities for ‘other options’ as they inevitably come along….but the value of another person in the fullest respect for LIFE itself …here and beyond.
The value of the understanding of HOW ones life effects and influences others
Most who have married in the past may or may not have been ‘in love’ …during the pioneer days many would marry out of who was available …for companionship and help in breaking ground in a new land.
Protection and provision surely are part of the design in marriage for woman ..as well as procreation or as GOD tells us in Hosea ,,,He is seeking a ‘godly seed’ …children TRAINED up in the nurture ..[instruction] and admonition …of the word….learning how to apply the word in wisdom to life choices.
To have someone you are attracted to is also important and in THIS day and time it seems that this is the ONLY consideration for attraction …physical …and appearance ….and maybe ‘resources’ be it status, bank roll , social connections….there are many that people trust in rather than checking out the character of the person and their family influence…
Their faith is not just imperative but HOW they live it…why they have it …and how it effects their choices and behaviors.
I have known people who claim Christ but ascribe to a doctrinal view that apparently leaves a LOT of room for behaviors that are ungodly and fleshly …bringing pain to many and shame to the Lord …so the lipservice needs a bit more than taking their word for it .
Marriage is desired not for only what one wants for themselves in their life….this person they love …but it is for what they want to do for that person and whatever children …the need and desire to give and to love …to care for …to look out for the things that other person enjoys and delights in so that one can perhaps surprise them with those very things …or at least the indication that they have paid close enough attention to acknowledge those passions.
Marriage is for both and the children and for the future to magnify the Lord and our maker ..to honor Him and it is for our best maturing and enjoyment along the way