Discouragement is one of the challenges you’ll find yourself facing in the aftermath of an affair. Like the wake of a speedboat, which sending waves in all directions, the effects of an affair include sending discouragement and fear in all directions.
The cheater moves forward, while that same momentum pushes you backwards.
During these times of discouragement, you’ll find out who or what is your source of hope. You will find out where you really go.
There is often a disconnect between the values you espouse and those you live by. Affairs have a way of exposing that kind of hypocrisy.
You find out where you go to find encouragement. You find out where you go for hope. You find out where you go for comfort.
It’s human to hurt and experience discouragement. The big challenge is “How do you get past it?”
There are those sensation blockers like, television, alcohol and drugs. They will often either distract you or numb you out to the pain. Although they numb you out, they can also leave you feeling more empty and discouraged than when you went to them for comfort in the first place.
You may also find yourself going to friends. This is a time when you find out what kind of friends you really have.
In your moments of neediness, some so-called friends will not know how to handle you and take your neediness as a come on to them. Since so many people sexualize things, they may turn a time of neediness into a sexual encounter.
That only confuses things and makes matters worse. It may be you who sexualized things, or them. Either way, it reveals what the basis of your friendship was really about.
You’ll find out if they want what is best for you and you will find what what you were ‘really’ looking for. During these times you find out what you are really made of.
The discouragement phase is a tough one to get through. It is not impossible, just tough.
Moving past the discouragement is part of taking care of yourself. This is why it’s one of the first items dealt with in the download “Affair Recovery Workshop”.
The unique sequence of the workshop guides you through discouragement and the other hurdles to overcome. Knowing what’s coming your way helps you prepare and deal with those challenges.
Best Regards,
Jeff
