Some cheaters claim that they were ‘seduced’ and never intended to have an affair. In some cases, such as those involving Rohypnol. Some seducers use smooth talking, attractiveness or good humor combined with alcohol to reduce the defenses of their targets. In such cases, the target was set up. There are also cases where the cheater was seduced through threats. Although it is unsavory to consider, there are some seducers who rely on intimidation, force and threats to have relations.
Before you jump to conclusions about the affair, you need to know the circumstances and to what degree seduction was involved. Being seduced is not the same thing as intentionally going out and having an affair. Knowing what you are dealing with is key in coming up with the best intervention. Seductions need to be handled differently than intentional affairs. The cheater’s only mistake may have consisted of being foolish or stupid. Foolishness and stupidity are vastly different than actively seeking adulterous relations. Handing a seduction like an affair may make your situation much worse than it needs to be. You will need to listen to the cheater. You will need to hear them out, no matter how hard it is. Once you hear them out, then you can make judgements. Rushing to judgement may be called for in some cases, yet if there is a possibility of seduction, you need to handle it differently.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
3 Responses
This is so true ….it seems as I have found out that my husband has had more than just the one OW …he even cheated with two other women …each a separate times….both about two years in duration …but were on the opposite coast so he was still able to keep his ‘regular’ OW going ..but he apparently told her ..at least that is what he told me
He confessed to this as he did not want me to think the OW was so special to him that he was faithful to her…
I asked what she did when he told her ..and he ‘can’t remember but thinks she was upset’
For a man with a steel trap mind it is hard to think he cannot remember the last names of the Other women….and they worked in his company …that was during the 90’s so there is little hope of learning more about these two .
I also had some revelations of how with each pregnancy he attempted to get some kind of action with other women …but ‘nothing ‘ much developed except a kiss or two …
So I am guessing that he was seducing or at least did not make any effort beyond being willing …so to me this way of passively engaging …trying to say they were the ones that initiated so in this way he gets some kind of idea that HE was not the one that was active in these relationships’
The OW also followed us when we moved and he says he did not encourage or discourage her….
So this is a very weak way of a man to try to deflect any responsibility for the ongoing adultery
God does not buy that ..neither do I ….the man is fully responsible for getting into and staying in ..such a damned-able sin….
Hard to respect someone like this …let alone a husband and father…
Just LAME
He does ‘take responsibility’ since he cannot deny it …but it is still a weak form of it….
Zaza,
Thank you for sharing. It is often those with steel trap minds who think that they are ‘smarter’ than other people and assume that they are special and can pull off an affair. They believe that the rules do not apply to them like they do to others.
I have heard stories of how railroaders often had women at each end of the line. I had not heard of a woman on each coast outside of sailors. This is a phenomena that is more common than I would like. I may have to do a post about that.
bi-coastal hetero….don’t care to think about any other kind…ugh…
why should I be surprised….lying to one woman is only practice for further…thing is ..he TOLD his OW …but when asked whether he told the OW in the east about his status…they only thought he was married! Not exactly endorsements for virtuous women of the year!
A nest of snakes….snares ..and no ladders…! .