Fear makes affairs worse than they are. When you imagine events taking place, along with what people feel and think, it is an overwhelming task. Your own emotions are up and down like a roller coaster and beyond being managed. When your emotions are like that, it is not the time to try to imagine or figure out what other people are doing, thinking or feeling. Although it is not the time to undertake such a task, fear often grabs you by your arm and heart, then takes you into your worst nightmare. What makes it worse is that fear often uses instant replay in making you relive and re-experience that nightmare over and over again.
In wrestling with fear, the monsters always appear worse than they actually are. The situations are always worse than they really are.
So how can you deal with fear?
First learn to recognize fear and its ways. That means that you will have to realize that fear, like a bad dream is NOT real. Realize that fear amplifies threats. It is in dealing with those threats that you try to figure out other people, with all their thoughts and emotions. Trying to control is often how people deal with fear. Once you recognize when fear is upon you, then you can stop trying to control what is not yours to control. You can only control your own actions, thoughts and emotions. Realize that. Know that you can only control what is yours, and even then, you may not be able to control all of that. In recognizing the limits of your control, you will have to ‘let go’ of what you do not control. I often tell couples that the opposite of love is not hate, but control.
When the love is gone out of your marriage, the only way to motivate is through control. I mention this in relation to fear, in that when you let go of fear, you will have to stop letting the fear motivate your actions. When fear is not motivating your actions, you will need to replace the fear with something else. That something else is faith. Faith is the opposite of fear. That means that instead of trying to control out of fear, you will have to replace that with being doing things in good faith based on love. Bear in mind that the fear is often not quenched immediately. It will take time and consistency. You can not put out a blazing fire with a pint of water. A little bit of faith is not going to quench a massive quantity of fear. The fear will have to be matched with a large quantity of faith.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
One Response
I agree that many activities are better than sitting around ….as far as building faith …the scriptures point out at it is ‘by hearing …and hearing by the word of GOD” thus a good ‘daily dose’ of the bread from heaven will certainly build one’s strength in the face of all kinds of onslaughts to our lives.
Faith is spirit and the ‘seed’ that brings it within is the ‘incorruptible word of God’ which Jesus recommended we consider our ‘daily bread’
One person I recently heard has this motto ….”Bible before Breakfast’ ……not a bad idea….in my case I must have my coffee to ‘see ‘ ! Hahaha…but the way the Word builds in our minds and as we apply it is great …
Some people get discouraged and ‘give up’ …but if we ‘continue in ‘ his words as Jesus said …then we will be his ‘disciples indeed’ ….disciplined lives that do what we are brought to remember helps so much ..
I may be in despair at times from my husband’s choices but the words arise from my heart to remind me this life and how to live it …is worthy of the time it takes and to continue with patience…The words of GOD come together as time goes by to fit all things together to make more sense ..not just of what goes on around me …but of Himself!
Getting to know God is not that hard if we are not intent to keep Him within our own limited ideas of what he is like…It is ‘revealed ‘ as we show up and allow Him to ‘speak ‘ through his word to us daily
Daily not like a regiment but daily like …we like to be with someone we admire and love….Whatever we go through God is interested in showing us how HE will deal with it…and how we also may …
His presence is not ‘felt’ so much but the peace we have when we get together and allow Him to ‘talk” with us by way of His words is a big key to continuing to get through tough times…and to love those who are captive to their own bad choices…
I keep at it….not always easy but always the best choice.