You probably hate adultery and its effects. If you have not learned to hate adultery in all its forms, it is going to be hard to get through any affair. In developing a hatred for adultery, you will find yourself faced with some tough questions. One is whether or not cheaters are evil. Although cheating is bad, not every cheater is evil. In terms of evil, let me use the definition of someone who is totally focused on themselves to the point of disregarding other people and how their actions impact others. When you define evil as extreme selfishness, then not all cheaters are evil. Some were tricked into what they did, some showed a momentary lapse in judgement, some were out for revenge, some were so depressed that they did not care what happened, and some were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Cheaters who did what they did for the reasons above could not be classified as evil. Those who did not care how their cheating impacts others and are so self-centered that they only care about what makes them feel good could be classified as ‘evil’ with the definition I gave. They are not sacrificing small animals or casting spells, yet for our consideration, they are so self-centered that the term evil is fitting for them.
Some cheaters really do not see what they did as any more serious than shaking hands. They may have become oblivious to how their behavior impacts others. There is a difference between being oblivious (ignorance) and choosing to not care about others (which is self-oriented or selfish).
There is little question as to whether cheating itself is evil. Adultery is an evil act, even though not all cheaters are evil. Knowing the difference between evil acts and evil people is critical in overcoming an affair. You spouse may still be very loving and not an evil person. That means that you will need to quit treating them as if they were evil if you hope to turn your marriage around. You will need to hate the behavior, yet love the person.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
If you want more on making your way through an affair, you will want to purchase one of my e-books on the subject.
