When your passions are aroused, you don’t think straight. Although you may see the threat posed by the lover, the cheater is often oblivious.
You may ask yourself “Are they stupid?“. In some cases, the cheater is acting stupidly, and has turned off the analytical, decision making part of their brains.
They are in act-react mode, rather than any kind of thinking or evaluating type of thinking. They’re in a passive mindset, where they have switched on the automatic pilot and are choosing not to think.
Although they’re in this passive mode of thinking, they believe they are smarter than you are, and actually look down on you for your reactions to them and their actions. They may even consider you ‘unenlightened’ since you are not supportive of them and their new way of living.
Many cheaters consider their infidelity a form of enlightenment to them. The affair is an emotional release.
Although their brain is on automatic pilot, they’re so stimulated in other areas, that they falsely believe that they are functioning better than they ever have. Their brain just knows that it is turned on more than before.
Their brain doesn’t evaluate whether or not what they’re doing is a functional or rational type of activity. Their brain is revved up and not questioning the source of being ‘turned on’.
Their brain is functioning in the fast lane. Attempts at stopping them will be viewed as slowing them down. In that fast lane, they feel ‘alive’.
The brain is running on ‘high-octane’ and like any addicted organ, wants to stay turned on. They don’t realize the danger of how they are living. When living on the edge, they are turned on.
Their brain wants the stimulation, without any kind of filtering or limiting of the stimulation they feel. That is one reason that when they are in their ‘turned on’ mode, they may view you as a ‘kill joy’.
What they really mean is that you are interfering with their buzz and they don’t like it.
What you may see as stupidity, they view as stimulation.
If you consider them not processing information in terms of logic, not considering consequences and not being rational as a form of being stupid, then yes, they are being stupid.
For more on affairs and the issues involved in affair recovery, join the support community at Restored Lifestyle. Here, you’ll find others going through similar issues.
There are separate sections for the betrayed, cheaters and for couples. You’ll also have access to the videos, articles, and ebooks addressing affair recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
7 Responses
I was thinking how people in the past few generations are very concerned with YOUTH …to be youthful …and young is the apex of many people’s idea of their purpose or need in life in order to live well
ONE of the aspects of youth is POOR IMPULSE CONTROL …it is now considered a GOOD thing to be reckless …not just with one’s OWN life ..doing all kinds of things that could actually end your life …but all for the FUN of it …or SPORT …
SO IMPULSIVENESS is one of those things that people who view spontaneity as essential to their being able to live ‘life’ to the ‘fullest’
I know that as my children began to experience my husband’s lack of concern for that THEY were concerned about we now see how that has led him into approving and seeking out not just ‘excitement’ but immorality as if it is something that gives one the feeling of exhilaration that is ‘due’ and an icon of being “YOUNG!”
As I have observed before …not wanting to give up his ‘youth’ my husband took our children’s youth God had intended for them to have and used it for his own ‘fun’ and ‘experience’
Carelessness is to CARE LESS about the people that you have been entrusted to ‘care FOR ”
So terrible to see this lauded by media and community everywhere now.
The obsession with youthfulness amounts to nothing more than a vanity.
Sorrow for those victimized in Boston …
“my husband took our children’s youth God had intended for them to have…”
I would like to comment on this statement.
I was watching former American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler perform last night on Dancing With The Stars and was once again struck by her charm and innocence. Â The unexpected elegance she portrayed dancing her first attempt at ‘ballroom’ dancing while performing the Viennese Waltz was an added bonus. Â I couldn’t help but recall well-known aspects of her childhood and, even though I don’t know her personally, I must admit to a certain amount of pride as I watched her perform. Â Yes, she’s young. Â Yes, she’s attractive. Far more important though is what she has accomplished despite her childhood.
Her biological father spent most of her youth and early adulthood in and out of prison. Â Her biological mother abandoned her when she was two. Â She was raised, for the most part, by her grandparents. Â There are those in society who would say she was cheated out of a ‘normal’ childhood. Â Is this what God intended for her? Â I believe God gave her the same opportunity that is given to all of us…the opportunity to create HER Â life. Â Despite the less-than- ideal circumstances most of society would deem unacceptable, Kellie Pickler has risen to the challenge. Â She’s upfront and matter-of-fact about her parents. Â She doesn’t bemoan her past or who her parents are/were. Â She is just trying to live her life and be the best person she can be. Â In a word, she’s impressive. Â She’s already a winner in my book.
blueskyabove,
Thanks for sharing that. I had no idea she had gone through so much.
Bluesky …thanks for that …I am encouraged…perhaps the better way but sadder still is that my husband missed the family life that would have blessed him ! I appreciate the reminder!