When challenges like an affair happen in your marriage, your values, love and priorities are put to the test. You find out what you “truly” believe. There is often a trial where you find out the difference between what you thought a successful marriage was and what you believe it is. It is no wonder that marriage, as an institution is under fire around the globe. Marriage is powerful. It can sustain you during tough times, yet break you during good times, depending on what your idea of a successful marriage is. When an affair has you thinking that your marriage is a failure, what does that say about what your idea of success in marriage is? Yes, the cheater lied, broke their promises and violated their sexual fidelity to you. Those are all parts of a marriage, but is that the whole measure of success? If sexual fidelity and honesty are the only measures of success that you have, you may need to explore more about your idea of success in marriage. What about encouragement, ability to connect, helping each other, sharing your life with you, assisting you through illness, etc. These are all things to consider in your idea of success in marriage.
An affair does not automatically equate with failure, it does mean that some heavy duty work is needed to improve things.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
