Knowingly having an affair with a mentally ill person is not something that I advise. When you knowingly start an affair with a mentally ill person, you’re asking for trouble.
Affairs bring a release of emotional control. Combining that release with mental illness is troublesome.
Bear in mind that many mental illnesses are not readily apparent when the cheater meets the lover. Neither the cheater nor their lover disclose their mental health status prior to starting the affair.
Typically each are being driven by arousal and passion. They are interested in either how the other looks or how they assume the other will make them feel. Screening playmates for potential mental illness is not even on their radar.
Another issue is that the mentally ill need love too. They go seeking love in the only ways they know, without regard to whether or not it is healthy.
Their vulnerabilities make them easy prey for those seeking affairs. It’s easier getting into the pants of the mentally ill than non-mentally ill populations. In such cases, the cheater is not a master of seduction like a Casanova or Mata Hari.
Instead, the cheater is putting themselves into a cage, shutting and locking the door behind themselves while thinking that they are the one in control.
They don’t realize the reality of what they have just set in motion. They are not the great lover, only a sucker that just became a victim and does not realize it yet.
Taking advantage of someone who is not playing with a full emotional or mental deck is not a great accomplishment. They are merely looking for easy pickings or “taking the path of least resistance‘.
When I think about having an affair with someone struggling with mental illness, I recall the scene in “Young Frankenstein” when the doctor discovered that his helper put an abnormal (Abbie something) brain in the oversized body that was being brought back to life.
The doctor freaked out knowing that any predictability or control was now out of the question.
When the mental or emotional functioning of a person is in question, an affair with them should be ‘out of the question’. Even though they are a knockout or ‘a wonderful catch’, the appearances are misleading.
Affairs are life changing enough. When you bring a life changing event into the life of someone who doesn’t think, act or react in a predictable or normal manner, the results are exponentially out of control.
You can’t predict or control what happens. All you can do is strap yourself in for a wild ride ahead.
What are you doing to contain or control the ‘out of control’ affair?
If you have made the mistake of getting into an affair you regret, the video, “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” guides you in regaining from from the confines you’ve been caught in.
Best Regards,
Jeff
