A recent ad promoting affairs stated “Increase your confidence, have an affair“. Many cheaters are falling prey to ad campaigns promising that affairs improve your confidence, increase passion, and improve your marriage.
Such campaigns thrive on the fantasies of the cheaters. The cheater often wants to believe that their affair will improve their lives in some way.
Ads like these feed into the fantasy that the affair improves their lives in some way. The belief of an affair being self-improvement gives them a mental excuse.
What’s the reality? The reality is that the affair will increase passion in their lives.
Bear in mind that a passion is ‘something that we like so much it hurts’. An affair increases the hurts in the lives of the cheater and their families.
The hurts increase in number and intensity. It’s easier saying the affair increases passion than telling them “An affair brings you a world of hurt.”
By re-packaging the pain and hurt as “passion”, it sounds more exciting. By calling the hurt, “passion”, more cheating services can be sold, cheating encouraged and the cheater temporarily feel better about themselves.
Cheating websites don’t show the shattered families or broken homes. Broken homes and crying spouses do not sell affairs.
Images of happy, sexy and successful people sell affairs.
Neither does the burden of guilt sell affairs.
You’ll not likely see ads proclaiming “Life is short, load up on guilt while you can-Have an affair!” or “You can never have enough guilt-Pile it on with an affair” or “Why be selfish with your misery, spread it around with an affair” or “Screw yourself over-have an affair!“.
No, you don’t see the guilt. You don’t see the broken hearted. You don’t see the empty bank accounts from court battles, false claims, and divorce settlements.
Such images don’t fit into the cheater’s fantasy.Although they don’t fit into the fantasy narrative, it would be more honest if the were used.
They should be a required warning label on affairs.
Back to the confidence. Does an affair improve confidence?
Cheaters have to rehearse their cheating over and over. Once they cross the line and cheat, it becomes easier to do it again.
They become more bold and brazen in their willingness to cross the line. I do not see that as ‘confidence’, but rather brazenness. They’re more willing to take risks regarding starting affairs.
The hedge keeping them from it has been broken through. Their conscience no longer holds evil urges in check.
Confidence, in my mind is something very difference. Even the word itself “Con” meaning with and ‘fidence’, meaning fidelity (which is close to loyalty). When someone has confidence, they go for with loyalty or full assurance of the person who confided in them.
When a cheater cheats, whose is confiding in them? It is certainly not their spouse. Their spouse may have trusted and put fidelity in them, but when the affair happens, there is no fidelity. There is no loyalty to your spouse. There is only loyalty to the cheater.
So even in terms of the word ‘confidence’, the cheating sites lie with what they advertise. You can’t logically go forth with an air of fidelity when you are committing infidelity. You can’t put more reliance in someone who is not being loyal.
In the post-modern world, ad campaigns are based on fantasies and intentions, not the real meanings of words. So those who promote cheating will bastardize words, and change their meanings in order to encourage cheaters and feed into their fantasies. They sell the cheater with images and empty promises.
Be on guard against the ad campaigns that promise what can not be delivered.
Best Regards,
Jeff
