There are some lovers out there who intend to poach. They want a spouse and have discovered that poaching is a short-cut to finding a good man/woman. They often attempt taking over your job.
They knowingly seek the married, knowing they are more desirable and/or have the assets they crave. You will find a huge difference between accidental homewreckers and poachers who are actively looking for ready-made spouses.
Handling Poachers <<– listen to the audio here
Hi, this is Jeff Murrah with Affair Recovery Radio. I’m glad that you’re here with us today for today’s show. The program we’re going to be dealing with today is handling poachers.
I went ahead and decided to deal with this because in dealing with the issue I realize there’s a lot of poaching going on out there, and there are some lovers out there who intend to poach.
They want your spouse, and they have discovered that poaching is an easy shortcut to finding a good man or good woman.
Rather than them going out there trying to find someone who’s a good provider, or keeps a good house, it’s easier to steal one. Somewhere they learned that and they’re putting it into practice.
They often attempt taking over your job. As a spouse you’ve got some responsibility, and they want to replace you. They want your job. They want your man or your woman.
Poachers knowingly seek out married people, knowing that they’re more desirable or have the assets that they crave. They want the rich man or the rich woman. They know that they’re already taken. They’re going to go in and poach.
Now, you will find a huge difference between the accidental home-wreckers and the poachers who intentionally look for ready-made spouses. That’s what we’re going to be dealing with today, how to handle these type of people, the poachers.
The answer is going to be boundaries, prompt problem resolution, and threats and traps. I’m going to be talking about each of these.
1. When you’re dealing with a poacher you’re going to need to resist giving out personal information. Because poachers, unlike some of these other accidental home-wreckers, they seek out any weakness or vulnerability.
Even when you’re having a weak moment and you’re kind of falling apart and you’re getting all emotional, maintain your boundaries and put limits on snoopy people.
Even in the days prior to an affair happening. Because a lot of times these folks have snooped out the situation before they strike, and so you want to be careful as to who you’re vulnerable with and what kind of information you share.
Many times they’re listening for opportunities to hear there’s trouble in the marriage, or things are not as wonderful as they thought. And they are going to take advantage of this.
2. Handle marital issues promptly. I mention that because poachers take advantage of situations that have been allowed to fester. If you’ve got marital problems and you know there’s communication issues, there are problems between you and your spouse, you want to take care of it quickly.
Because the poachers will look for any opportunity, and if they see a problem that has not been addressed they’re going to jump in.
Because they’re looking for marriage where there’s a little bit of friction. Where there is a little distance between the spouse.
Where y’all have not been totally seeing eye-to-eye, and they try using that as a wedge to split you. So that’s why you want to take care of any problems you have in your marriage quickly, so that there’s no room for them to get a wedge in there.
3. This is what I talked about the threats from acquaintances, because many poachers may intentionally be friends, coworkers, neighbors, or even those you go to church with. Poachers use these relationships to get inside your marriage.
They purposely try befriending people that have laid out the whole line of logic. By being your friend, you lower your guard with them, they get in, and they do their poaching.
4. Poachers often use traps. These include blackmail, pregnancy, and sex. These are tools to land the big game of your spouse. For them, the bigger the prey, the bigger the trap.
Many lovers want time or sex, but the poacher, …they want your spouse. They want your marriage. They want to take over. Poachers are a very real threat and you’re going to have to wake up to that.
So I encourage you, set boundaries and maintain your boundaries.
Have prompt problem resolution.
Deal with the threats, deal with the traps.
Because these are some of the things that you’re going to have to put into place in dealing with poachers. They’re out there and they will take advantage of the situation.
The things I’ve laid out for you, these are areas that you can start taking action in now. Start working on taking care of those problems. Start working on setting up better boundaries. Start doing those things.
If you have been the victim of a poacher, the Affair Recovery Workshop is available in helping you move past that.
Best Regards,
Jeff
