As strange as it sounds, there are times I miss talking to my libertine neighbor. Although I didn’t approve of his sleeping around with married women, I enjoyed talking to him. His frank, and out-spoken discussions were always enlightening.
He was having affairs and discussed them openly with me. Either once those things are in the open, they become easier to talk about or I’m easy to talk to.
It wasn’t that he bragged about his conquests. If anything, he was stunned at the attractive women that came onto him. He knew they were married, and their marital status was not even a speed bump for their sexual advances.
The relationships were not about friendships that grew too close, or business relations that grew too intimate. The wives went after sex first and foremost, friendships came later.
He was shocked at how fast relations with them unfolded. They were married with no intention of leaving their husbands for him. He was a safe play toy for them.
My conversations with him gave me greater understanding of the lovers. Lovers are misunderstood at times.
Although some like creepers, poachers and similar ilk are on the prowl, not all lovers are. Some lovers are the ones that cheaters made advances on.
When the cheater makes sexual advances, you have a different situation than one where the lover approaches them. When cheaters make advances, the affair is intentional and willful. There is no “it was a mistake” or “I didn’t mean anything by it” as excuses.
When you have a spouse who initiates affairs, you’ve got a serious problem. Intentional action means they were planned with a goal in mind.
This is a situation where the Affair Recovery Workshop can help you in facing and working through a challenging situation. The focus of the cheater is misplaced, which points your marriage in the wrong direction.
Your marriage needs major help with a course correction, improved communication and restored intimacy. The Affair Recovery Workshop guides you in each of those areas so essential for recovery.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
