You may have at times thought that there is a connection between pornography and affairs. You may have considered those pornographic images a threat to your marriage.
Although the images are easy to identify as a threat, a much larger threat exists in the form of pornographic thinking.
Pornographic thinking is the whole idea that the pursuit of sexual gratification is not only a good thing, it is THE MAIN THING. It is the idea that the whole purpose of marriage is gratifying this desire and gratifying it often.
Under the guise of this kind of thinking, aberrant behavior is okay because it makes you feel good. This kind of thinking is the precursor to affairs.
Under this kind of thinking, all sexual behavior is acceptable if it makes you feel good. And, on the flip side, if your spouse is not making you feel good, then you can get rid of them.
One of the dangers is that once you make sex the most important part of marriage, you remove the restraints that keep sexual aberrant behaviors in check.
With the pornographic mindset, when you have bad sex in a marriage, you have a bad marriage. All evaluations are based on how sexually gratifying it is.
Pornographic thinking places sexual gratification above all other considerations in family and marital relationships. It’s placed ahead of virtue, security, wholesome living, modesty, social protocol, and the innocence of children. When sexual gratification is need #1, the whole family suffers.
What scares me is that this kind of thinking is being promoted in schools, churches and healthcare. It’s no wonder that infidelity is running rampant in many churches when the church counselors actively promote this kind of thinking to you and your family.
At lest with pornographic media (DVD’s and magazines), you can see what they are promoting. It is obvious. It is so obvious, that pornographic media is often the whipping boy for churches, often being blamed for a multitude of problems.
The big dangers are often those that are not so obvious, such as counselors and pastors who promote pornographic thinking in the form of the primacy of sexual gratification over all.
Since the ideas they promote sound good, such thinking is often accepted without question, since it comes from an ‘authority’ figure.
Since you don’t see obvious graphic pornography, you assume it’s clean and good. Without realizing the danger, the poison of pornographic thinking has been injected into the community, who think that ‘all is well’ since there are no obvious signs that the seeds of infidelity have been sown in the form of the pornographic thinking that surrounds them.
I keep up with many counselor types using twitter on a daily basis. It gives me the fantods when I see those who present themselves as ‘wholesome’ presenting the same message that promoters of sexual libertine thinking are doing, yet only in a watered down format.
When the counselors have the same thinking as the casual dating (affairs) site promoters (like Ashley Madison, etc.) and hook up sites, it’s no wonder that affairs are occurring in many families and communities.
When you have been saturated in pornographic thinking, it is only a matter of time before you reap the harvest, in the form of graphic pornography problems, affairs, divorces, marital problems, and promiscuity.
If you think that porno media is your biggest problem, you are mistaken. You are only dealing with the visible symptoms of the problem.
The bigger problem is when sexual gratification is presented ‘out of balance’ and given the top priority in your life. Thinking always precedes action. When your thoughts get out of whack, there will be effects.
If your marriage and family need help, the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ provides you with the tools you need for getting out of this type of thinking and the traps it contains.
Best Regards,
Jeff
