This morning my wife shared with me the comments that subscribers wrote on unsubscribing from the emails. The email triggering the most responses in 2020 concerned my post from May, entitled “What Fauci and his fanboys can teach you about Affairs.”
Although the focus was on the importance of trust and how COVID recommendations were impacting trust, some readers reacted strongly to the message. They insisted that trust will not be diminished by the virus and actions taken in dealing with it.
Now, several months later, research is showing that some of the measures taken with the virus are impacting trust and empathy. We view others as less empathetic.
Some readers also took offense at my use of the term ‘fanboy’ in reference to those trusting his ‘expert’ status without question. I come from a generation raised to ‘question’ everything.
Although some readers took offense, when you consider that there people out there wearing Fauci emblazoned socks, leggings and underwear, it sounds like fanboys to me.
The author of a best-selling erotic novel even modeled one of her characters after him. That sounds pretty fanboyish, if not sexual fetish like to me. When you consider that the author also works as a religious writer for the Washington Post, it makes her adoration of him even worse.
I mean how can you take someone serious when they have a following wearing personality underwear? Although he has scientific credentials, his followers are turning him into a cult figure.
Being from generation that grew up in the 60’s, I dare questioning ‘experts’ and why I should trust them. Many of the ‘experts’ are taken aback at my questioning.
I even had college professors who took umbrage at my daring to not trust them. They assumed people would trust them because of their position. I took the position to ‘test before trusting’.
I even dared researching the lives, their writings and background of self-proclaimed ‘experts’. Even when attending professional conferences, I look at the speakers backgrounds and dare asking them questions.
In questioning why I should trust someone I learn things. It also gives me greater clarity concerning my reason for trusting them.
Giving someone your unquestioned loyalty is a recipe for trouble. All the expert has to say is ‘trust me’, and some people blindly trust them. I prefer looking behind the curtain to see if there’s a reason for trusting them.
You may have even blindly trusted your spouse. It sounds romantic, yet in working with couples over decades, you really need something solid to trust in rather than blind trust. When I have something solid, I feel more secure in trusting someone.
You can base your trust on their honesty, knowing their heart, experience in how they keep their promises, or their sincerity. What you base it on depends on how big a risk you’re willing to take.
When you have a solid foundation for trust, it gives you more to work with instead of blindly trusting them. At those times you can tell yourself “I trust him because he showed me he is trustworthy by keeping his promises to me...”
If you’re one of those who continues blindly trusting your spouse for no clear reason and want something more solid, there’s hope. In the video “How Can I Trust You Again?”, I address the foundations of trust and what you can do to have them in your marriage.
When you click and download it, you can start making changes in going from blind trust to having a reason for trusting, or not trusting depending on what happens.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
