There are times while recovering from an Affair you may find yourself dealing with ‘evil’ people. When you’re faced with evil people, it’s a shock discovering that your usual ways of dealing with people don’t work with them.
When your tactics are frustrated, you may in exasperation ask “How can I deal with evil people?”
You first assume that your love or charm will win these people over. In some rare cases, your niceness may touch their hearts. These cases are typically one on one situations.
For the most part, evil people run in packs. Since they run in packs, they often have a pack mentality.
Some evil people have dark, sinister look, while others look like everyday people you meet on the street. In the case of evil folks, their mentality is different from everyday people.
When the people you are dealing with have a pack mentality, or outright evil people, they often only understand force. That means that kind words will have little impact.
Logic and well-worded replies are useless on these people. You’ll need to keep your comments short and to the point. Explaining things only puts you on the defensive and viewed as weakness.
There are many ways you can use force with them. The first is the force of silence.
Just use short answers when replying and say what you need to say. Say it firmly and confidently. Don’t get chatty with evil people. Chattiness gets you anywhere. Once you say what you need to, remain silent.
Your eye contact will need to be firm, but not provocative. Your body language will need to convey strength and firmness. Since words have little impact on evil types, you will need to use your body language in stating and holding firm to your position.
You will have to remind yourself that silence is your friend. The silence after you have your say allows your words to sink in. Just because you don’t get the response you were hoping for doesn’t mean that they didn’t hear or understand what you said.
If your spouse or their friends develop this kind of mentality, what are you going to do? Rather than staying confused, you can instead have confidence in knowing how to handle it.
In the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ one of the many areas covered addresses communication skills, including techniques for dealing with non-communicative types.
You can have the confidence that comes with knowing ways of dealing with these kinds of situations rather than playing the victim as your only option.
Best Regards,
Jeff
One Response
In silence my husband said he presumed I was fine ….even though he had at some points been given my point of view about my having to be in my marriage ‘alone’ much of the time and that he was missing out as well.
His ‘presumption’ that I was doing fine was part of his delusion and self deception ..part of making it ‘ok’ for him to abandon our family for most hours of every day …stretching into weeks of his doing what HE wanted and me wanting him to be ‘happy’
Silence was HIS weapon to keep me at bay and from being a true companion in life ….silence on my part when possible was a ‘gift’ to him because it was what he wanted.
Life was good for HIM because I was reliable and faithful and he lived how and with whom he wanted while being a married ‘family man’ by all appearances to others.
In this relationship I spoke as to cause him to become comfortable in revealing himself …but that never occurred. Time after time I would learn some intimate detail of his life by having to observe or when I was at a rare event with him with others …by learning second hand about his plans.
One such event I learned from someone asking him about his plans for retirement that he ‘never intended to retire’ …we had not even had a discussion about this .
So silence or the spoken word effected him not. As when you share the Word of GOD with people who do not want it …even Jesus was rejected by those who love to live in darkness.