Have you told yourself that you’re being “dumped for a newer model?” Consumerism has so crept into marriage relationships, it’s now commonplace for people to refer to themselves as products being switched out for the newer, flashier, and faster models.
The situation is made worse by the tendency to objectify spouses.
You may have even accepted what the cheater told you as inevitable. When automobile companies keep making newer models you begin thinking that something is wrong with the older models. When you apply that kind of thinking to relationships, you may view yourself as the older less desirable model.
Your thinking at that point is warped. When a company like Porsche sells the same 911 model of its car for 50+ years, you realize the ‘newer model’ is better mentality is mistaken. Think about that. Porsche sells basically the same old car for 50+ years. The brand is still in demand, even though the basic design is not new. The owners don’t get tired of driving the same old car day after day. If they don’t grow tired of the old model of an automobile, what makes you any different?
It’s the same with marriage. People have been marrying and staying married for thousands of years, even though the design is not new. Not every marriage will last a lifetime, but as long as you are still married to your wife, she cannot be a “newer model.”
It’s one thing to be told such a line like ‘you by another model because they’re being dumped for a newer model’, and quite another when you resign yourself in accepting it. When you accept it, that line carries with it the assumption that you are inferior and not as ‘good’ as others.
You may be wondering why that matters. It’s a matter of respect.
When she tells you, “I’m going to trade you in for a better model because you’re not as good as others.” It is a direct attack on your self-respect.
The cheater may have dumped you, yet when you resign yourself to accept such a statement from them, it does a number on your head. They can lie, lie, lie, and those lies remain lies until you start believing them.
When you start believing their lies, you begin fulfilling them. You may want to blame the cheater for telling you the lies, yet when you believe the falsehoods they’ve been feeding you, that’s a whole other problem.
If you’ve been believing the lies you’ve been told, you will want a copy of “Why wasn’t I enough?” The thought-provoking chapters will begin waking you up to what’s really going on, inside of you and inside of your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
