While the pop culture world mourns the loss of musician David Bowie as a cultural icon, I take a different view of his life. Having grown up in a time when his music was popular, I was well aware of his music. His talent was amazing, yet his infidelity and addictions were abhorrent. Although I was aware of his music, it was never one of my favorites. My brother, on the other hand, is more of a music snob, and takes a different view of David Bowie and his life.
Being a counselor by vocation, I look at his life and relationships rather than his music. Since he was a pop culture icon, society often turned a blind eye to his behaviors, which included all the earmarks of sexual and drug addiction—episodes of infidelity, being out of control and impulsivity. I suspect that he had an addictive personality.
When the media glamorizes his life, I cringe. He was the embodiment of sexual profligacy, often sleeping with men and women indiscriminately. His life was filled with infidelity of one type or another. The world praises his talent, while I see a man out of control. When society gives a free pass to his addictive behaviors and even goes so far as to see them as “accomplishments,” it tells me that many in society not only approve of infidelity, but want more of it.
When an infidel like Bowie is considered a hero, it tells me that something is wrong with the culture. Popular culture worships the values it craves. When a person has talent, as Bowie did, a blind eye is turned to their faults. When they are a big enough icon, culture goes so far as to praise their peccadilloes.
As long as society worships such people and lifestyles, there will be problems with infidelity. When the adulterers and addicts are given statues and holidays, it is no wonder that the culture finds itself struggling with the mixed messages they are sending. Are family, love, honesty and commitment valued by a society that instead makes heroes of those with sexual addictions, drug addictions and being out of control?
When we make heroes of those with poor self-control just because we like their music, their speeches, their movies or their politics, while at the same time claiming to value family, love, honesty and commitment, we are living a schizophrenic life. We are praising the values that will destroy family and culture, while verbally saying that those are the things that matter.
There is a craziness in claiming to hold family values dear while celebrating infidels and their accomplishments. My heart sinks when I see friends and acquaintances—who supposedly value family—join in blindly praising such values. In times like these, it becomes clear why so many marriages are in crisis. The cheating spouses are trying to have the best of both worlds—family values and popular culture.
A writer in Texas named Jim Hightower made the astute observation: “The middle of the road is for yellow lines and dead armadillos.” You will have to decide whether you want a great marriage and family, or if you want to join popular culture and praise men and women of the same ilk as David Bowie.
Bear in mind that whatever values you cherish and praise, you will get more of. Do you want more honesty and commitment, or more infidelities and addictions?
I like heroes that have values that make my family stronger—heroes that I would not mind my sons emulating and striving to be like. David Bowie is not a man I want my sons to emulate.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
