You probably have never considered the connection between flash floods and relationships. I had not considered the connections before I was studying them.
First, flash floods can happen quickly. Some heavy rain in the hills under the right circumstances and viola!-Flash flood. There is a reason there are a multitude of signs warning you ‘Turn Around Don’t Drown!”
When I first encountered the warning signs, I thought they were a joke. The places where they were located were dry beds that had not seen water in a long time. I thought to myself “Right. These stream beds don’t see water 363 days out of the year! I suspect that some people saw them as a joke, and proceeded trying to cross that bridge or waterway. They thought they could make it through the waters saying “It’s not that deep!”
They are right, the water is not always deep, yet when water is flowing, it does not take much to surround and overwhelm you. In a matter of seconds, you can suddenly be swept off your foundation and be floating out of control in directions you never intended.
There is a sensation of being overwhelmed, suddenly surrounded and overpowered that many of you who have faced affairs report experiencing. You may have had confidence, thinking, we can make it through this! The (emotional) water is not that deep!, yet suddenly find yourself surrounded and overwhelmed by how fast things are happening. In a matter of seconds, you can find yourself swept off your foundation and being carried to places you never wanted to go.
It is a frightening experience. You are no longer in control, you have no solid footing. You are also vulnerable to other things floating down the stream with you. Swirling about you are debris, limbs, and no telling what kinds of critters and snakes in the murky waters that are carrying you.
You will find that affairs are a lot like that sudden experience of being taken out of control and surrounded by swirling pools of nastiness. Even if you had visions of it being clear, refreshing water, once you are being carried away, you are out of control.
All that confidence you had before trying to cross, or before the affair are GONE.
When relationships are moving fast, the fast flow can overwhelm you. They cheater may have thought, “I can handle this!” I will just limit how deep things get, and I will be fine. They may have limited how involved they were willing to get, yet the speed of events suddenly surrounded and overwhelmed them.
When events move quickly, even the most level headed persons can find themselves overwhelmed. The speed of events often catches many people by surprise.
Those warning signs ‘Turn Around, Don’t Drown!” have lessons for couples as well. Turn around from temptation or the affair before you are sucked into something bigger than you are.
If you do get caught up, there is help. The Affair Recovery Workshop may be the very tool you need for getting your marriage back on a solid foundation.
Best Regards,
Jeff
