What’s the worst question to ask after an affair? There are plenty of bad questions you can ask after an affair.
Yet, among all those bad questions, there are some that are worse than others. Ben discovered the worst question to ask.
Ben was still working after everyone went to bed. Late at night, when everything was quiet, he was able to work without interruption.
There was just so much to catch up on. He was so ‘in the zone’ with his focus, he barely noticed when his wife came in.
She quietly entered, sat on the floor against the cold wall and curled up in a fetal position. She then softly called his name, taking his attention away for a moment. Ben looked up, startled at his wife’s presence.
She said, “We have to talk”
Ben turned his chair around, and looked at her. Talks that begin in such a manner are seldom good news. “Okay”
She put her head down and quietly said “I’m so ashamed. I’ve been having an affair”
In that moment, Ben’s world changed. He suspected something, but dismissed those feelings as his ‘overreacting’ and being paranoid.
His mind and heart stumbled for what to say next. The only thing that came to mind was the question “Who with?”
When his wife began answering, Ben realized that he asked the worst question after an affair.
She began naming a series of names. The admission of the affair was bad enough, feeling like a knife was thrust into his gut.
With each new revelation, the knife twisted a little more. These were people he knew! They were men he trusted! They were people he thought were his friends.
It was more than he could handle. A cheating wife, unfaithful friends and the realization that he was a laughing stock on so many levels. He was the last to know about what’s been happening behind his back.
Ben discovered the worst question that he could have asked. The series of revelations left him numb from the pain. He didn’t intentionally seek out the worst question, he innocently stumbled upon it.
Although honesty is important, there are some questions that’ll bring more pain than others. Ben discovered the worst question. The second worst is “Why?” There are also many other questions you’ll want to avoid, if you have any intention of saving your marriage.
If you suspect your spouse is having an affair, or discover an affair, there is hope. The Affair Recovery Workshop provides you with ways of dealing with the issue, without making the same mistake as Ben.
There are some questions that you want to avoid. The answers to them bring more pain than answers. You want and deserve answers. Although you deserve answers, there are some areas so filled with emotional landmines, that the pain will make recovery unbearable.
You can start recovering rather than sinking deeper in despair.
Best Regards,
Jeff
