It amazes me how many television shows claim being in the #1 slot. One show that has captured ratings for several seasons is NCIS. It’s one of the shows I have seen over the seasons. I even enjoy Gibb’s rules.
Although the show is entertaining, I found myself wincing in pain when the character ‘Ellie Bishop’ was caught up in an affair situation.
The show portrayed the character playing her husband as being ‘in the wrong’, yet little was made about the long hours and late nights her character puts in working at NCIS.
In my mind, she had the affair with her job at NCIS long before her husband did. Her job at NCIS was always the priority. It got the best part of her day, and first dibs on her affections. It was always job or career first and marriage when it’s convenient.
In the ‘real world’ when you put in long hours and many late nights, it puts a strain on your marriage. When you are more married to your job than your spouse, it puts your marriage in jeopardy. I guess in the NCIS world, “all is well” when you’re a dedicated employee working for the good of your country.
The message is even more destructive when the character is attractive and likeable. It sends a twisted message within it.
The way the affair was handled in the series left me feeling like it’s acceptable to sacrifice your marriage to your job if you are doing something worthwhile. It’s as if some jobs are MORE important than marriage. When you have that kind of job, losing your marriage is just one of the hazards of the job. That kind of logic bothers me.
When your job consistently takes precedence over your marriage, you are effectively married to your job. You may not call what’s going on ‘an affair’, but it has all the hallmarks of an affair.
I wonder if the writers at NCIS ever realized the strange twist and unhealthy lesson they were presenting.
When it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call it a duck.
When your devotion to your job pushes out your spouse,…it’s an affair. When you routinely show a preference to your job over your spouse…it’s an affair. When your loyalty is to your job first OVER your spouse time and again…it’s an affair.
You may have never slept with anyone, yet if your loyalties, time and devotion are always to the job rather than your spouse, even if its worthy….it’s an affair.
If you are caught up in one of those non-affair affairs, your marriage needs help. The Affair Recovery Workshop guides you in getting your marriage back to the priority it needs to be.
Best Regards,
Jeff
