Witnessing an affair stresses you more than realize. Although you may ignore what you saw as “it’s none of my business“, or “it doesn’t effect me, so why should I care“. The truth is, it does effect you.
Just witnesses the affair and knowing what you are seeing starts the process. When you say that you disapprove of affairs, yet say nothing, it puts your soul in a bind.
You’re not living by the values that you say are important to you. When you compromise your values, even for the sake of not embarrassing yourself or the cheater, you are putting stress on yourself.
In those familiar with psychological jargon, the term cognitive dissonance will give a name for what is going on.
Your cognitive dissonance continues increasing and your conscience gnaws at you when you realize that the cheating you saw will impact your community. It may be your church, your neighborhood, or the community served by the local school.
The more communities remain silent, the more they silently acquiesce to affairs. The more they accept them as part of daily life, the more they’ll become part of the daily life of your community.
It’s not by accident that the social engineers use popular culture to create an environment supportive of adultery. The bombardment of affairs in music and media is intentional.
The more you’re exposed to it, the number you become to it.
When you choose to say nothing, it allows the disease to continue spreading.
So when you see a couple having a meal together that aren’t married, does that automatically mean that an affair is going down? No, the meal may be ‘just a meal’.
With a little common sense, you can tell if something is happening which shouldn’t be happening. You know inappropriate touching when you see it.
If you don’t, then you have bigger problems to deal with. When an affair is obvious, then you have a responsibility to speak out.
The more you remain silent, the more stress you will be putting on yourself. If nothing else, you have a moral obligation to speak out.
Remaining silent will be viewed by the cheater and their spouse as you approving of what you saw.
You also have to think in terms of role modeling. If your children saw what you saw and you choose to say nothing, they’ll look and learn. Do you want to leave them with the message of ‘affair approval’ by you silence?
Choosing to stay silent when you see an affair going on turns you into a passive participant. You may not like it, or approve of it, yet your choosing to remain silent makes you part of the action.
Cheaters pay little to no attention to how their behavior impacts others. They are too caught up in their own stuff to care what others see or think.
They don’t consider that their actions are bringing stress into the lives of all who surround them or see them. It’s not fair, but that is the way it is.
So the next time you see what is going on, you’ll know what to do.
If you have other questions about affairs, the ebook “Why Wasn’t I Enough?” addresses the most frequently asked questions about affairs. The answers will guide you and help your mind sort through the issues involved.
Best Regards,
Jeff
