When I mention the word ‘blind spot’ what comes into your mind? For some of you, the first thing you thought of were the blind spots of cars, trucks and SUV’s. Yes, those items have blind spots.
Did you know that each of you has blind spots as well. In each of our eyes, there is a region where you are blind. In everyday life you get so used to compensating for your blind spot, you are likely unaware of it being there.
Blind spots keep you from seeing things. I even have blind spots. My wife often brings my blind spots to my attention.
There was one episode where a coach who was assisting me with an issue neglected fulfilling his promises and commitments. I don’t like being neglected, so I often made a point of saying something about him not getting back to me or answering my emails.
After a couple of times, my wife gave me ‘that look’, and said sternly, “Jeff, just leave it alone!” Her rebuke startled me. It also made me realize that I had taken offense toward him and had picked up a grudge along the way. She saw a blind spot I wasn’t aware of.
I hadn’t intended taking offense. It just happened. That rebuke reminded me that some anger was escaping and it showed in my tone of voice along with my badgering of him. The rebuke surprised me.
When I sat down and considered the situation, I realized I felt hurt by him acting like my friend, then turning around and ignoring me. It was hard for me to accept that disconnect. I also realized I was angry at him for that disconnect.
After realizing what I’d done, I forgave him and had not given the matter a second thought until this email.
Blind spot afflict everyone, including you. Your spouse may see a blind spot surrounded by anger that you hadn’t been aware of. If you take offense at them pointing it out, the situation is compounded. You have defensiveness on top of a blind spot.
One of the problems with affairs is that some of the stubborn residue sticks in your heart and mind. Those areas where the residue builds up have their own blind spots.
Those blind spots are filled with hurts or resentments that you aren’t aware of. If you are aware of them, then it’s not a blind spot, it’s denial. Either way, they are hurts that need attention.
The best way of dealing with such hurts is forgiveness. Even if you’re not ready for it now, the time will arrive to forgive.
When that time arrives, it’s important you know ‘how’ to forgive along with the who or what needs forgiving.
This is where the video, “Forgiveness, Stop the Hurt, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” comes in. It guides you along the road to forgiveness. You don’t have to be blind sided by someone pointing out your blind spots.
You may even be badgering or using a tone of voice that betray a blind spot of anger you weren’t aware of.
During recovery, there will be blind spots you’ll have to deal with. When they’re pointed out, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just means that you missed a spot.
Best Regards,
Jeff
