Recently my father has been in ICU. Seeing him under such circumstances drained me. Just seeing him there surrounded by the machines churns my emotions and left me feeling empty.
In visiting him, many old stories and recollections come to mind. One of them concerns the garden of Eden incident.
He pointed out that in the garden there was one fruit on the tree. Although its’ called the “knowledge of good and evil“, it was one fruit that could be used for good or evil. Like two sides of a coin, the one fruit had two natures.
On consuming the fruit, Adam and Eve faced the choice of how they would use their knowledge. Their world changed forever because of their choice.
I’ve seen this same principle used in dealing with affairs. In the nineties, a risqué television show known as “Red Shoe Diaries” opened with the question “Have you been betrayed…broken and alone?”
The “Red Shoe Diary” people uses your vulnerabilities and hurt from affairs for further seduction and exploitation. Rather than heal the wound from betrayal, the show was episode after episode of couples being exploited. Although the opening hinted at help, it ends up condoning and encouraging rather than discouraging affairs.
It hit me that like the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, your wound from betrayal is used either for good or evil as well. The opening advocated people share their diaries with the main character.
The diaries amount to your story. The show exploited the incidents to titillating purposes rather than helping you heal your marriage.
The truth is that you have been betrayed. You are wounded and alone.
Now, you face choices as to what you are going to do about it.
The Red Shoes option is one way of handling your feelings and situation. I find that the question, “Will it bring healing?” helps determine which options are really best for you.
Will the red shoes option bring healing to your marriage? It’s going to bring something, but it sure isn’t healing.
When you want healing rather than excitement or drama, the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you through recovery. Rather than taking your brokenness and giving you more of it, you can instead have healing, and more of it.
This example makes things about as simple as they can be. It makes your choices clear.
Your wound from betrayal will be used for either good or evil, for either healing or someone’s titillation.
Best Regards,
Jeff
