One of the things I miss about being in a group practice are the shop talk conversations between therapists. At those times we discuss observations and compare notes about our latest experiences.
One of the most intriguing conversations was with Randy. We compared notes on childhood sexual abuse situations. What made the conversation noteworthy was that some of the abuse followed programming patterns.
Programming is the present day term for old fashioned ‘brain washing’.
What made that important is that some childhood sexual abuse was actually about grooming the victim for future sexual activity. The abuse broke down the inhibitions in the victims.
I thought through the ramifications of such abuse and the grooming aspect and was horrified. The programmers used key phrases in activating their victims.
Once activated, the groomed victim then performs what they were trained to do.
One of the outcomes of the systematic nature of the abuse amounted to programming them for cheating later on in their lives. Since therapists often function as emotional janitors, we find ourselves cleaning up messes that other people have created.
The possibility of people being programmed for cheating was chilling. This was long before stories of MK Ultra and Sex Kitten programming made the rounds.
Although I had stored the conversation with Randy on my memory shelf, there have been times I’ve revisited this possibility. In some situations, the possibility of early childhood abuse as programming was plausible.
Trauma, especially childhood sexual trauma is powerful. It changes people in surprising ways. When the trauma of an affair happens, earlier life traumas come to life. Those early life experiences are triggered once again with a ripple effect that resonates in lives.
This is why it’s so important to resolve affair traumas. You don’t need those early life trauma episodes making affair recovery harder than it already is.
In the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma” I guide you in ways of moving out of being stuck in a trauma mindset. Rather than dreading being plagued by “It’s happening again” kind of thinking, you can instead realize “I’ve made it through tough situations before, I can do it again”.
Although you wrestle with old memories and traumas, you don’t have to let them have control. You can start moving past the Affair Trauma and bring some peace of mind into your life again.
Best Regards,
Jeff
