This morning while reading the latest news concerning affairs, I was struck by the headline that “Dr. Jackie Walters felt homicidal on finding out about her husband’s affair”. Although I’d never heard of Dr. Walters before, the story caught my attention.
She’s a well-known television personality and practicing OB/GYN in Atlanta. She started programs like “Fit is the new IT” and other health conscious programs. Her reality television show is titled “Married to Medicine”.
Perhaps the choice of her show’s name was a foreshadowing of things. The title “Married to Medicine” leaves me wondering if her job comes before her marriage. In an interview, about her initial homicidal reaction, she went on to share, “That’s part of being a doctor, you sacrifice you.”
Although sacrificing yourself for everyone else and your career makes for some intriguing television it’s hell on marriage relationships. It also makes you a candidate for burn-out.
This is a common issue for those in service positions, be they law enforcement, military, the ministry or health care.
I recall when I was in the position of having to confront a prominent pastor on how his ministry had become a mistress. His wife and kids knew it, but he was the last to see and acknowledge how he had put his ‘noble vocation’ ahead of his family.
In the case of the doctor, she initially reported that her being on reality television had little or nothing to do with her getting a divorce from her cheating husband.
She filed for divorce three days after D-Day. Three days is breath-taking fast. When you don’t have much time to deal with the problem or ‘stop mid-stream’ it leaves me with many questions.
Putting vocation ahead of your family wrecks your marriage and unbalances your priorities. It unbalances other areas as well, so it’s not a surprise that the doctor had homicidal thoughts.
I’ve addressed the danger of homicidal thoughts in response to affairs in several previous posts on my blogs.
I’m sure that the doctor is very caring and compassionate. I know that excessive care and attention to patients gets out of hand. I’ve seen that in my own experience. Misplaced care leads to blurring of boundaries.
I also know misplaced care creates problems. Misplaced caring is one of the things that creates situations making affairs possible.
Your misplaced caring means your spouse is missing out. It means that your marriage relationship is not your priority. You can learn a lesson from the doctor about the importance of balance when it comes to career or marriage.
If you need a place to talk, slow down, or even stop mid-stream, consider joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle. There you can share with others in a safe place while you get yourself together.
At Restored Lifestyle, I include steps you can take in preventing and dealing with situations like Dr. Jackie’s.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
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