Have you ever wondered why the legal profession took over the settling of affairs and divorces from being ‘church’ matters?
In previous centuries, divorce and affairs were matters for the church and church courts to settle. In chasing down the many facets of affairs, one that I have chased down over the years is the history of affairs.
Historically, affairs and divorces were originally matters for church discipline. You married in the church and addressed marital matters within the church. Since both parties shared the same value system, handling it all in the church made sense.
Over the years, this has changed. Although many couples still marry in the church, when the time comes to address affairs or divorce, they step outside of the church and involve the legal system.
The church is good enough to marry them, but when it comes to divorcing them, couples often opted for the secular legal system. That way, they could divorce without the guilt and shame often associated with church matters. It’s a way of taking the sting out of wrong-doings.
There is also the tendency of the secular legal system often gets involved when they smell a way to make money.
The legal industry is willing to put aside any guilt and shame if they make money. The trouble and break-up of a family estate often meant big money, and the legal system did not want to miss out on this potential money maker.
The legal system saw the money making potential if they took over this area from church courts. They promised the ability to settle disputes without the guilt often associated with church, since they took God out of the picture and any guilt that goes with that kind of accountability.
Many excuses were made for this shift, yet the underlying drive is still money. When you get a divorce, somebody will pay for the judge and lawyers.
Typically, the larger the estate involved, the larger the legal fees. The lawyers have a vested interest in dragging out the fight. Being your advocate, they fight for you. In this case, they will fight as long as you pay them.
The legal profession has managed perfecting their skills of fleecing both parties when a marriage breaks up. The only major exception being collaborative divorce, which although having potential is often resisted by the traditional adversarial approach to divorce.
The legal divorce system in most States is intentionally adversarial. It is designed for fighting and encourages more fighting. The more the fighting, the greater potential for making money, with the lawyers each self-righteously claiming that their client deserves the best defense that money can buy.
There was a reason that the Apostle Paul instructed early Christians to ‘not take their fellow believers to law’. His instruction is even more important now, since the judges are no longer pastors or church elders who care about your welfare.
What now matters is whether the law is followed in terms of correct procedures, forms and interventions.
I mention this, since many times you may think that you need to consult a lawyer after discovering your spouse had an affair. Consulting a lawyer starts moving things in the direction of lawsuits.
There are also unscrupulous persons who act like lovers or become lovers only for the legal leverage it gives them. It is not only lawyers and judges that make money, there are also some lawsuit addicts that use affairs or the appearance of affairs as a way to pressure you.
Yes, another word for it is blackmail.
It’s not surprising hearing of lawyers being referred to as ‘ambulance chasers’ having people on their payroll looking for potential victims. How far of a stretch is it to imaging family law experts having people on their payroll looking for opportunities as well?
For some reason, it’s easier seeing accident lawyers doing such things, and more difficult to imagine anyone in family law even considering such tactics.
It is also not surprising that some confidence games involve entrapping their targets in affairs or affair accusations in order to gain access to the victims accounts.
In the world of corporate espionage, having photos of an affair is a sure way to gain leverage and financial gain. Many times the victims don’t realize they are being trapped.
You don’t realize that attractive people don’t just ‘find them attractive’ and come on to them for no reason. When people are drawn to you, there is usually a reason.
So before you consider divorce as an option in reaction to the affair, ask yourself “Who benefits?”
Rather than immediately going to the lawyer, the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ provides an alternative. An affair doesn’t have to mean the end of your marriage.
There could be many more good years in your marriage once the two of you re-build your relationship.
Best Regards,
Jeff
