In dealing with affairs and relationships, some topics remain touchy. Even the segments of society that are reportedly most open about their sexuality react to talking about some sexual topics.
Just because someone is open about their sexual activities does not automatically mean that they respect other’s sexual values and activities. They may even show hypersensitivity to when you use the wrong pronoun or show any discomfort with some sexual preferences.
They may even make fun of you for your preferences and values. I bring this up since you may wonder about ways of dealing with ‘friends’ that ridicule you for your sexual behaviors.
How do you deal with friends that are hypersensitive to sexual issues.
Let me start by saying what you and your spouse do behind your bedroom door is not for public consumption. It’s one thing to talk with a healthcare professional when you’re having problems and quite another to openly discuss your ‘private life’ with others.
With affairs you are dealing with ‘highly charged sexual material’. Not everyone can handle it, including some of your family members and even some pastors.
Definitely avoid sharing what happened with members of the opposite sex when you are alone with them. Such sharing invites trouble.
Sharing it with friends who can’t handle it can traumatize you even more. They distract you from what you need to be focusing on.
When you’re recovering from an affair, it’s not the time for ridiculed or being surrounded by those who are hypersensitive to issues you are dealing with. They may be your friends, but that doesn’t mean they can handle what you’ve been through and are going through.
If those people you hang with make fun of your values during this time, you may need new friends. Having the right kinds of friends makes a difference when going through recovery.
You don’t need to be walking on egg shells when your marriage is falling apart. You need a place to talk where you aren’t made fun of or your values ridiculed if you decide to work on your marriage.
When you’re emotional, you’re vulnerable. You need adult conversation with those who aren’t hypersensitive to discussing sexual matters and values. It’s not the time for parsing the correct pronouns or being sensitive to what you call the cheater and their lover.
During those times, you may need a support group where you can share without fear of what your friends will say or think. This is where the support community at Restored Lifestyle can help you through your recovery. Here, you can share with others who have faced the challenges you are in.
At Restored Lifestyle, you’ll also find a list of what to look for in who you share information with. Knowing what to look for can save you anguish, temptation and conflicts.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
