Although the question is often asked “Who did you have the affair with?”. It is rare that the cheater gives a gut-level honest answer. Yes, they can tell you the person who they were with, but oftentimes, the emotional attachment is to the fantasies they have about the person more than the person themselves. The images in their head about the lover is often more telling than the person they select.
I have seen cheaters who love the avatar of their lover more than the lover themselves. When this occurs, it makes it challenging to sort out what is going on in the relationship. If you ever wondered ‘What does he/she see in him/her?’ , the gut-level honest answer is that they are having an affair with the avatar more than the lover themselves. When this is understood, many affairs that previously did not make sense, now make much more sense. Consider the affairs that occur in Second Life. These are often between the avatars, since the people have not actually met.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
