Years ago I attended a lecture presentation on ‘How to have a good break down’. Although I’ve forgotten much of the material presented, I still remember the title.
It was the title that intrigued me. I figured with that kind of title, it’s bound to be fascinating, which it was.
I’ve also learned that understanding how things like break downs and break ups happen have nuggets of wisdom that I learn from.
Since I’m on the topic of break downs and break ups, I thought you may find the list of bad marriage advice helpful. These are items and situations I’ve actually encountered.
On the surface some of the items sound good for those with itching ears, yet in the long run, they break down relationships and people.
- Getting marriage counsel from someone who’s not married. They have good intentions, and may have good book knowledge, yet lack practical experience.
- Saying anything is OK in the name of love. Many relationships have been damaged from this type of thinking. Love gives freedom, yet also requires self-restraint in some areas. Using the anything is OK opens the door to many problems.
- Put yourself in the place of God. When you start making all the judgments and only viewing the situation from your perspective, it makes you hard to live with. It also shuts you off from anyone else’s input, leaving you isolated.
- Consistently use vulgar language. There are some ‘experts’ who thrive on using vulgar language. Although they may have intentions of using for shock value, or showing you how knowledgeable they are about vulgar topics, in the long run, it pushes others away. Vulgar language disrupts rather than heals.
- Viewing trust as an analog process. This is where you view trust as something that is either there or not there, with no gradients in between. Viewing trust this way limits your options and puts you in the position of potentially throwing away a perfectly good marriage.
If you encounter helpers promoting these ideas, My advice to you is “Run away from that situation”.
At the Restored Lifestyle membership site, I elaborate further on these ideas and the danger they present to your marriage relationship.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
