One of the musicians I enjoy which many people have never heard of is Al Stewart. Although his “Year of the Cat” gave him some attention, most people are unaware of many of his other good songs.
One of the reasons I bring up Al Stewart is that a line from his song “One Stage Before” echoes in my mind anytime I come across narcissism in my daily life. The line that echoes is the first one “It seems to me as though I’ve been upon this stage before…”
The reason for this is that narcissists typically go through life as if they’re on stage. They take center stage and dominate the spotlight. They view themselves as both important and unique.
In talking with them, you hear all about their achievements and accomplishments. They remind you how ‘important’ they are. The problem is as they lift themselves up, its often at your expense.
You may have thought you were having a good day and feeling alright about yourself until you dealt with them. They have ways of making others not quite as good as they are.
You leave interactions with them feeling as if you are ‘not as important or attractive as they are. It’s not surprising that narcissists are prone to affairs. They like the attention that affairs bring.
Even in situations where it’s bad attention, they enjoy being on stage in the center of things. Whether playing the hero or the villain, when they’re at center stage, they are getting attention.
Besides affairs, they are prone to other issues as well. If you’ve lived with one for a period of time, you’re aware of some of those other issues.
One of those issues is the danger them pose after the affair. You may not see these dangers until you are smack dab in the middle of a custody dispute. There you’ll see a side of them that is not so fun loving.
In the November Special report going out to members of the Restored Lifestyle site, entitled “Infidelity and losing your children” I address this dangerous side of the narcissist, along with what you can do in dealing with it. The report comes out November 15th, so you still have time to reserve your copy.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
