Although I’m not a fan of tattoos enough to get one, I find their artistry fascinating. The first one I recall seeing was on my Great Uncle. The tattoo was of a black panther on his forearm. It looked as if it was crawling up his arm. It even included details like drops of blood where his claws would have dug in.
Tattoos are used for many purposes. These include self-expression, identification, bonding, and remembrance. It’s when you add time to the tattoo that things turn sideways. Whatever your original intention was, time and circumstances have ways of changing the meaning behind them. When the meanings change, the tattoos aren’t so easily changed as well.
I addressed the connection between trauma and tattoos in a special report I put out several years ago. So, it’s time I touched on the topic of tattoos again.
When your spouse has an affair, it changes the meaning of your tattoo. What was once a source of identification and pride turns into a painful reminder of unpleasantness. Circumstances surrounding the affair can change a tattoo as well. A husband getting a tattoo of his wife’s name might find that she has a different opinion about the matter when she finds out. Tattoos are permanent, and so are the circumstances that often lead people to get them.
When your spouse doesn’t value their marriage to you, the association you have with the tattoo and them changes its value as well. Although you can have the tattoo modified or removed, the scar is still there reminding you of what you once had and lost. It’s a painful reminder of the betrayal and hurt that you experienced.
Tattoos can also serve as a way to bond with others. Matching tattoos with friends or loved ones can symbolize a strong connection and create lasting memories. However, when the relationship changes or ends, those same tattoos may no longer hold the same significance they once did.
Modifying the tattoo doesn’t quickly change your relationship or your feelings. Although there are things it doesn’t change, the modification sends a message. It tells your spouse and yourself that something has changed in a major way. Much like the tattoo is permanent, the change is a long-lasting one as well. I sometimes wonder if the tattoo in some ways represents your heart and the scars it carries from what happened. Almost as if the hurts on your insides are being displayed on the outside.
The kind of healing you need after going through the trauma that comes with many affairs is on the inside. Just changing what’s on the outside is window dressing. It might make you feel better for a little while, but the pain is still there. The hurt is still very much alive. But that doesn’t mean tattoos can’t serve as a way to heal and move forward. Many people choose to get tattoos after experiencing a traumatic event as a way to reclaim their body and their story.
Tattoos can be a way of reclaiming something that was taken away from you. They can also be a way of protesting what has been done to you. The lasting change that makes a difference starts on the inside. Reclaiming your soul and sanity is important. Rather than changing your tattoo, you need to download my video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma”, I take you through ways of healing from the pains of the trauma. Although the tattoo remains, the scars on your heart can heal. You must be able to move past the pain. With the video, you can learn productive ways of doing it.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
