Like clockwork, most police shows whether based on fantasy or reality have someone proclaiming “But I did nothing wrong!” That someone proclaims their innocence along with lack of wrong doing.
These situations convey the tragedy of the innocent experiencing loss when others do wrong. In many cases, the person taken into custody actually didn’t do anything wrong.
Although they didn’t do anything wrong, they find themselves facing the consequences of wrong doing. There is a terrible injustice in how the innocent are slimed by the actions of others.
The shadow of the crime touches many lives that had nothing to do with it. The crime is surrounded with fears, suspicions and secrecy.
This is the same dynamic that often happens with affairs. You didn’t do anything wrong, yet you experience the consequences. One of those consequences is your loss of confidence.
Losing your confidence is tragic and unfortunate. The actions of the cheater have a way of robbing you of your confidence.
The challenge with confidence is that it’s often an all or none quality. When you lose it, even small decisions and choices are plagued with doubt. Losing confidence is not limited to your relationship or the bedroom.
Even though you may be in the right with your choices, the confidence you had behind them is now gone. Your self-assurance is gone.
You start second-guessing your decision making, even though you didn’t make the bad choices. The twisted logic of that is dumb-founding.
It’s not fair in any sense of the word. The cheater did the betraying, yet they seem to have their confidence intact, while you, who remained loyal lost all or almost all of yours.
Getting back your confidence happens choice by choice. Although it would be nice to regain it as fast as it was lost, confidence doesn’t work that way.
I do a deep dive into ways of rebuilding in my video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma” which membership in the Restored Lifestyle site gives you access to. In the video, I present ways of learning to trust your decision making once again. You don’t have to continue going around doubting yourself any longer. You can do something about that today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
Here is what one member has to say about this private membership community: “Thank God for this group and each other’s experiences. We are not alone in our recoveries!! Jeff, you are a Godsend, as are others who have reached out and written back!! I am forever in your debt. Many blessings to all
