With my wife being a business entrepreneur, I’ve been exposed to the thought leaders in the business world. You can’t be around the stuff without being exposed.
Much like you can’t be around dogs without being exposed to their fleas, their ideas and quotes have touched me in some ways. One of the thought leaders whose quote touched me is John Carlton.
He’s known for his insights into human behavior and being the most ripped off copywriter alive. Although you may have never heard of him, you’ve encountered his work and been influenced by him in many of the ads you’ve read.
Carlton made the statement “Success is a process, not an event”. The more I thought through his statement, the more sense it started making.
I also saw it’s relevance to infidelity. The adulterous version of his quote would be “A successful affair is a process and not an event.”
In order for a cheater to succeed in their intrigue, they have to plot and plan. Their planning is an on-going thing. It’s not a single event, but instead the affair results from a series of choices.
There may be a single moment of opportunity, yet for the affair to happen, the fires of passion have to be blown upon. The cheater has to come up with deceptions, lies and misdirection in order to hide things from you and keep the lover ‘on the hook’.
A successful affair takes lots of planning along with the funds to make it happen.
It takes a great deal of dancing by the cheater to keep things going, especially with long term affairs. This is what I mean by ‘process’.
You may not have thought of an affair as a process, although that’s more accurate than discussing it as if it were a single event.
When you start viewing it as the process which it is, you begin seeing the extent of deception involved, unless your spouse is a wiz at thinking on their feet. Even when thinking on their feet, there’s a process unfolding as they go.
This is where making a timeline of the affair can help you begin seeing the many steps involved in that process. John Carlton was right, “A successful affair is a process”.
If you’ve done a timeline and want to make sense of it or don’t know where to start, join the membership community at Restored Lifestyle. There you can call on others in helping you with your own journey of discovery in exposing the process behind the affair.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
