Fear often paralyzes you. It stops you in your tracks. You find yourself so immersed in ‘what ifs’, you become afraid to take any risk. You start worrying so much about what other people’s reactions MIGHT be that you shut down and make the choice to do nothing, thinking it is the safest option. There are times that doing nothing is the best choice, but not when it is driven by fear.
When it is time to make choices, you can not predict or control what others will do. Since you can not control it, or even predict those choices, you need to make your choice based on what is best for you rather than avoid the rejection or reaction of others. When you are not used to choosing what is best for you, it can be a whole new world. It is akin to giving yourself permission to make choices.
I mention this in regard to affairs, since the struggle over choices is common in dealing with affairs. There may be struggles about whether you should confront, whether you should do an intervention, whether you should take financial actions, etc. These are not easy choices. The cheater may exploit you tendency to not want to upset them by making wild accusations about how you don’t trust them, or you destroyed the trust, blah, blah, blah. These are designed to intimidate you to the point where you are afraid to upset them. They will use such techniques to keep you immobilized. Rather than cower in fear or stay frozen in paralysis, you need to start making choices rather than avoiding them.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
