On reading a recent blog post, a wife raised the question of whether or not the term ‘Affair Fog’ was appropriate. She believes the state of denial with the cheater is better termed the “Affair Wall”.
She went on in describing how impermeable her spouse’s wall was and how a wrecking ball is needed in breaking through it. In stating her situation, she was quite descriptive.
She raised some valid questions about her situation. I still find the term “Affair Fog” appropriate. The cheater may have a wall up, but they aren’t the only one impacted by the fog.
The fog also envelopes yourself. It clouds your judgment and interferes with your ability to see a way out. Like other fogs, it disorients you. Truth, facts and lies are twisted to the point you don’t know which is which.
The fog touches everyone associated with the affair. It’s not just something that impacts the cheater. Assuming that the cheater is the only party impacted by the affair fog is a mistake.
This also means that both of you need help in finding your way beyond your current situation. Since you’re unable to gain clarity on where your relationship stands by yourself, it’s time to seek out help.
This is where having a support system and regaining your bearings is important. You need to know where you are headed and what it is that you’re really after.
If you don’t have clarity, you may end up settling for just getting out of the pain. The danger there is that anything that gets you out of the pain quickly has a risk of addiction potential.
finding your way through the affair fog isn’t easy. It requires effort internally and externally. In the ebook “Why He Cheats” I go into greater detail about the affair fog and understanding what you are facing.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
