In one of my e-books, I addressed the most frequently asked questions about affairs. Although I addressed what at the time were the most frequently asked questions, there’s always one or two that sneak up.
One of those questions is “Can he change?” Many of you wrestle with this question. You hope it’s possible you wonder if it’s going to happen.
I believe change is possible. Your husband or wife can change. You’ve already seen changes happen with the affair. The problem is those weren’t the kinds of changes you were wanting or looking for.
The change you want is in a different direction. Getting them to want the same changes you want and going through those changes is challenging.
It’s always easier questioning if change is possible than seriously looking at what’s keeping the change you want from happening.
It’s easier giving up than it is doing the work needed in making changes.
The place to start is by being open to the possibility they can change. If you don’t believe they’ll ever change, you’ve already given up on change in your thinking.
Although you still hope they change, it still requires you give yourself permission that change is possible. I know that this idea challenges your thinking and mindset.
If you don’t believe change is possible, you won’t see options and possibilities when they are in front of you. You won’t see the subtle signs of changes occurring with you and with them.
Change also requires your letting go of those things that are keeping you stuck. One of those things is unforgiveness and resentments. The longer you hold onto those things, the less likely you’ll see changes.
In my video on “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the wall and Remove the Roadblocks“, I address the process involved in letting go of those things keeping you stuck. You want to move forward, yet aren’t sure what to do next.
Click and download the video. See for yourself what’s keeping you stuck in your emotions and mindset related to making changes.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
