It is amazing when people look at affairs and their marriage from hindsight. From that perspective, it becomes very clear what ‘should ‘ have been done or said. The clarity leaves no doubt about events, what they meant and what was said. The problem is that you can not work on relationships in the past. They can be understood better, or aspects revealed, or past actions forgiven but in terms of making the kind of changes relationships need, they are lacking.
What is needed, is direction on what direction to take NOW. What should I say NOW and what should I not say. Although denial often makes it hard to see the present for what it is and to see relationships in terms of what is going on now, you can take steps to change that. You can learn secrets that many couples do not know until it is too late. You can learn what are the things to say and do that will save your marriage.
Rather than look back on what could have been, while filled with regrets, consider whether your marriage needs those relationship saving secrets now. Cast aside those fears and pride that keep you from getting the help that may save your marriage
