The writer George Orwell is attributed with saying “When words loose their meaning, we loose our freedom”. He wrote extensively on how some words are used so much that they become meaningless or that the meaning is shifted on us. With all the talk about ‘marriage’ and what constitutes marriage, we were all attacked. By changing what it means to be married, the whole institution has taken a hit.
What is a sacred institution has been perverted into societal approval of shacking up with someone and being allowed to collect tax benefits, medical visitation rights and insurance coverage. When marriage becomes so watered down, then affairs become more rampant. By watering down marriage as an institution to where it is only a matter of who you are with now, all of are marriages are at greater risk for affairs. Affairs become nothing more than unauthorized straying from the relationship.
Instead of such a watered down mess, we need clarity on what marriage is. When you understand what marriage is, you can see how terrible an affair is. When the definition of marriage gets watered down, one unintended consequence is that the definition of adultery is watered down as well.
To give you a reference point, during Charlemagne’s reign in Europe in the 800’s, adultery was a capitol offense punishable by death, whereas murder was not considered a capital offense. These days, the penalty for affairs, when there is one is a slap on the wrist while the penalty for murder is severe.
In getting your marriage back on track, be clear with your spouse on what a marriage is and what it means to you.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
3 Responses
well …so much truth to this …learning from the BIBLE …itself is very eye opening just how FAR understanding of just about everything has been skewed…and marriage is one of the very most important …
If you can deceive the HEAD …because he refuses to have Jesus as HIS LORD ..then you can ‘bind the strong man …the husband …and then pillage the family ….just what the Devil had in mind
Cut off the head and you get chaos and death .,.
Culture only has the moral compass it’s citizens require of it ….and that means if the heart of the citizenry is all about itSELF …then ….look around us.
My husband did not want to KNOW what GOD had to say …did not want the responsibility of that knowledge….Romans points out that ‘because they did not want to retain the KNOWLEDGE of GOD in their thinking ..GOD GAVE THEM OVER TO A REPROBATE MIND
To my husband …marriage was so he could do whatever pleased him …but have a ‘sex partner’ waiting for whenever he decided he had had enough of the outside world….Home was for sleeping …
When trouble came along with my ‘apparatus’ due to successive pregnancies….all after age 35 …and c sections ..and home sales and moving with each one ..he became less and less concerned with homelife
His attitude was if I don’t learn about it ..I don’t have to be accountable for it .
GOD commands us ALL to seek HIM and to study His word
NOT doing that does not get us out of our response …because we have the ability ..thus ‘response ABILITY” to know those things He has assigned us to learn .
Man doesn’t live by sex alone …or by tv alone or by GOLF alone or by his career alone
God did not say …”it is not GOOD for man to be bored…or without a golf club in his hand or without a board meeting !
Huh…..if a man is unsatisfied with his marriage …his wife or this life…then HE is the problem …not GOD and not his wife and not marriage itself
He has failed to give of himself to the task to LEARN and then apply himself to the task
If I don’t get a paycheck for a job I was hired for and never show up at …then WHOSE fault is it that I did not get paid ?
“Boys will be boys’ ?…How about men being MEN …or at least trying to learn what GOD was talking about and what HE commanded them to do ..instead of the ‘gender neutral …self castrating way of off loading all of the responsibilities of a marriage and household and parenting upon the wife and then complaining she is the ‘reason’ he is ‘bored’ and needs some ‘outside ‘ recreation!
What does he think SHE is doing for ‘recreation”? Who has TIME ???
SELF ISH …SPOILED …IGNORANT.
Is that TOO harsh …well I did not know what it would be like to be pregnant until I was …but I read and studied and prepared for it as much as possible….
I did not know HOW I would deal with his infidelity …I don’t think we PREPARE for our spouses to cheat….but we sure get our PHD [ Piled Higher and Deeper] degree when we try to navigate through the bloody mess that happens when our hearts burst from the pain of it ..
AND they seem to think THAT TOO is OUR mess to take care of
During one session where my husband was ‘willing to listen’ which amounted to him leaning back on the couch in his usual ‘listening ‘ posture with his eyes closed..at one point he could not ‘take it ‘anymore …so he got up and left the room ..something he has made a practice of throughout our marriage. .he just gets up and leaves when HE has no more interest in whatever ..usually when he has to endure the fall out in someone’s life from something HE has done
I said it is too bad the pain that your choices have caused ALL of us ..is too painful for you to offer the respect to endure what is needed …
I do not scream …I do not address him in any disrespectful way …but he seems to think my pain is my problem
‘
I stopped recently even addressing this ..I offer to listen …but he is a clam ….he comes home…showers…turns on tv …and sits at the computer til dinner…then dozes again ..and then goes up to his room
He works early and hard ..and takes the kids of the adultery to breakfast and school …and deals with his career which is demanding ..especially now that he has to rebuild…and he MUST make the money to support the OW and the children that he had with her..
Our family ..me and our daughters live our lives …mostly at home ..doing chores…doing the shopping and cooking ..no dates..no vacations…no special times…nothing ..
We are not able to now …but in the past the vacations were minimal …and short ..he split this two weeks between us ..and then he had to ‘go back to work ‘ …leaving us to pack up ,…
His life is thoughtless for his family ..and concerned for those at his office..and his children by the OW …all other activity is only an afterthought.
Sad life …I enjoy my daughters and they me…and each other…but we are living on the fringe of his life ..
I am thinking of trying to get the energy to maybe go for a class of some kind just to break up the routine here …
Driving at night or in weather ..is not my best choice ..so if summer clears up the weather .I may try to get into some kind of class…it is slow going ..I am up late at night doing the WORD online and such
Well …I have rambled
God’ had so much to offer in marriage for us …and our family ..my husband wasted not just HIS life but truly stole from all of us ….
The other woman is clueless and continues to complain…I wonder if she ever has had to think of all of what HER willingness to live a parallel life to our family has cost us …
Probably not …I think she resents that she has the children to deal with ..they were only a ploy to get money …
There is HELL to PAY ….eventually …
Zaza,
Thank you for sharing. Your situation is a tragic one where the definitions of marriage and parenthood have been twisted and perverted in a major way. In changing the meanings of these terms, he has changed his responsibilities. By removing his God-given responsibilities, it sounds like the home is a place for sleeping and breeding. That does not sound like a pleasant of dignified place at all. It should be a place where there is the family life of enjoying and directing the children. Of enjoying the special relationship you have with your spouse, a place where you have others over. A place of education, a place of healing,… all these have been lost by changing the definitions.
And as the Bible points out ..”and my people LOVE TO HAVE IT SO !”
It is what Eve was eventually moved to do …SEEING the fruit …and judging it was to make one wise…etc…
If all we are concerned about is what we WANT for our own senses …and the idea that we are our own god…eventually if everyone thinks this way ..something has got to give…we see in our society where this entitlement is going
He still ‘rules’ his own life. ..and it is all about HIM …His parents actual statements SHOULD have been a warning of what kind of training they gave him …His mother told me ‘NO one has a right to tell anyone else about GOD’ and his father actually followed up this statement with ‘We do not want you to speak about Jesus or GOD in our home anymore’
Jesus warned what when the sword of the spirit is thrust into a person …speaking the word …the truth cuts …and reveals what is IN them,
Those who live lives that are …flesh …the beast and serve their flesh …will HATE the word. .those who try to be polite witll try to soften thise truth ..they will say it is not right or polite to speak of ‘religion ‘ or poitics …but in this attempt to silence others they DO impose their will upon others …demanding rights that squelch the freedom of speech in others
I am reading a book about Hitler that Ray Comfort wrote ..in it he gave the account of how the propaganda guy had all books burned that he felt were going to inhibit the propagandizing he felt was necessary to turn Germany over to complete control of the Hitler regime….
Just as in the Bible .those who spoke the NAME of JESUS and passed on the things he taught ..we told ‘speak no more in that hame’
So it is …people who believe in ‘right’s ‘ demand silence in those who they SAY they love….
Love worketh NO ILL to HIS NEIGHBOR.
THe word of GOD does not cause any ill …but it exposes some sin that is often the ‘favorite; of those who choose to go according to their carnal lusts…of course to them it is ‘hateful ‘ …they hate the truth and are willful and rebellious..no matter HOW they may try to hide that hatred…
Those who love GOD love HIS WORDS>….and do them…and that is effectively giong to do well toward all who are without ..including those who hate it …!
They do not understand because they know not the truth …
it is death to refuse to hear the words of GOD ….
He said it is ‘blasphemey ‘ of the holy spirit which is ‘unforgiveable’ simply because you cannot receive the forgiveness of GOD that IS …waiting ..without repentance..and repentance comes from HEARING the word to the end that you sorrow genuinely from seeing sin as sin .
It turns one urgently toward seeking to learn truth from GOD …
Without sorrow of this kind …recognizing that one is ‘poor IN SPIIRT ‘and in need to find HIM …they will die…not respecting the means by which spirit is delivered IN TO us ..by way of HIS WORDS>
Thus they discard the ‘delivery method ‘ of holy spirit….which cuts them off from receiving forgiveness. ..thus …it is the ‘unforgiveable’ sin …they are in control of this choice…and if they choose to reject it ..THEY have gone into a position of not being able to receive what is the means of life…and all forgiveness…
Sigh…holding themselve in a state of unforgiveness..they seek comfort in other thngs..which do not satisfy and never can …only truth endureth forever.