Without shame, the world would be different. I was reminded of this when on attending a Christmas event in Buda called the ‘Cocoa Jingle’. I found myself on main street surrounded by people of all ages wearing their pajama bottoms and swigging hot chocolate from a plethora of mugs late in the afternoon.
Being surrounded by them I realized that they dressed for their own comfort without considering what they looked like or what it conveyed about their own self-respect. Although I have pajama bottoms like the ones I saw, I’d never consider wearing them out in public like that. They weren’t flattering, stylish or attractive.
In years past I attended Dickens on the Strand in Galveston where people dressed up in period attire. My mind wondered if people in Charles Dickens days would even consider wandering the streets in their bed clothes?
Without shame, some would neglect their hygiene and some would simply choose not to work. Some spouses would neglect their spousal duties claiming they are a relic of the past.
If you take a quick look on the internet concerning shame, you’ll find many articles and pages on thing you need to stop shaming people for. One headline that grabbed my attention added that those things are ‘none of our business’.
For whatever reason, shaming is viewed as a bad thing. This tells me that the public along with writers putting out those articles don’t understand shame and what all is involved.
I considered the question of what would happen if you removed shame. The first thing that would happen is that one of the natural consequences that helps maintain order and civility would be gone.
Without consequences, many people would dive into forbidden behavior like a glutton at a feast. Moderation would be a thing of the past as the masses indulged in drug abuse, sex, irresponsible behaviors, and self-indulgence.
And it’s not just the addictions. Some would dress without consideration of how they look or the condition of their clothing.
Without shame some would neglect their hygiene and some would simply choose not to work. Some spouses would neglect their spousal duties claiming they are a relic of the past.
As uncomfortable as shame is, a world without shame would be miserable. Without shame, you wouldn’t be allowed to confront others on their actions either. So however bad or irresponsible others have been, you’d have to keep your reactions to yourself.
Shame has many purposes. One of its purposes is helping you to be respectful of others and display manners.
Shame is also something you are counting on to keep your spouse from unacceptable behavior, including affairs. You actually want shame to make them think twice before they cross the boundaries of your marriage.
The more you know about shame, the better you’ll be able to handle it. In the December special report “Affairs and Shame“, I do a deep dive into the topic. The report is going out to members of the Restored Lifestyle site. You still have time to sign up and receive your copy of this timely report.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
