Every mechanic will tell you that preventive maintenance is always preferred to repairs. The same is true regarding counselors and marriages. Preventative changes are always preferred to having to be forced into changes through repair. Although common sense and experience validate these behaviors, humans, especially in marriage do not operate that way. With people, there is greater willingness to seek help for their marriage when in in crisis than when it would have been preventative. The problem with crisis changes, is that they are more dramatic, more painful and often have to be quickly.
When crisis changes occur, they radically alter the whole relationship. They take us out of our comfort zone. They feel weird and awkward. There is no gradual adjustment.
After the changes are made, then maintenance is required to keep those changes in place. You and your spouse will need to keep working at the communication and intimacy. It becomes and on-going process. It will be worth it in the long run although the initial change is painful.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
